Ep. 64 - Podcast Thumbnail Title: Podcast Thumbnails

#64 – How to Deal with Sexual Urges | Carina & Robert Cunningham

Ep. 64 - Podcast Thumbnail Title: Podcast Thumbnails

“If you’re dealing with any kind of sexual difficulties and struggles, please connect with someone from High Noon. They’ve got a whole program for men and women struggling with porn and masturbation. They’re programmed to understand more about your past and they have helped me so much.” – Carina Cunningham

Human beings have emotions, feelings, and desires. It is normal to have sexual urges but we need to be able to control them to maintain our sexual integrity. Curiosity makes us vulnerable against these urges, so we need to choose a different path, do something different to stop ourselves from our temptations.

In this episode, we’ll meet the new member of the team – Carina Cunningham! And her first guest is none other than his loving husband Robert. They share what they’ve experienced and talk about different approaches to dealing with the matching process. 

They will be talking about sexual urges and what to do with them, how to handle them from a single person’s point of view, how to change the pattern and switch that perspective that we usually have.

It can be very hard to talk about this with somebody but being able to do so will help you learn more about yourself and why you experience this. High Noon will help you overcome these urges and sexual difficulties so if you’re the person who needs this, don’t hesitate to connect with us. 

  • We try to kill sexual urges with willpower and discipline.
  • We are not guided clearly on what we do when we’re feeling strong sexual urges, especially in today’s hyper-sexualized culture.
  • Boredom often leads us to do something negative that’s connected to our repression.
  • Associating sexual urge with something else and thinking about it differently.
  • It takes intentional effort to change.
  • Working to become a person who can be in a relationship and use energy, hormones, and pleasure to love a person.
  • Avoiding a very passive or mindless state that makes you susceptible to urges.
  • Taking that time to prepare yourself for that moment when you can engage together physically, connected mind, body, and soul.
  • Avoiding fantasizing or idealizing who your partner is when they’re not even your partner.
  • Normalizing the fact that your love is connected with your sexuality.
  • Our sexual energy or sexual urges are connected with our love and we need to protect our love.
  • We will need to see every sexual urge as a preparation, as a second connection with our spirituality.

Episode Transcript:

Andrew Love  

Welcome back to Love, Life and Legacy, a podcast dedicated to helping you overcome these hyper sexualized times and destroy any obstacle in the way of you achieving love in your life to create a legacy of love in your life.  And today’s episodes are really cool. We have been bringing new voices, new faces, new people into the High Noon realm. High Noon has been growing exponentially. We have so many volunteers but we also have new staff. Benji is one of them, which is why he and I have been doing podcasts together. But we also have Carina, who’s up to the task of creating one podcast a month. And she represents us and puts away and she’s been creating High Noon Spanish and Portuguese. She’s like a powerhouse. She’s unstoppable. And in today’s episode, this is our first interview and she started locally and how local like in the same bed. She’s interviewing her husband and they’re having a couple’s podcast, it’s adorable. You’re gonna love it. And it’s all about their journey through overcoming porn and masturbation, and how they found each other and created love together. Stay tuned. It’s adorable.

Carina Cunningham  

Hello everyone, here is Carina..

Robert Cunningham  

and Robert. 

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah, and we’re having our first podcast together. Just us. 

Robert Cunningham  

You’re not gonna hear Andrew or Sammy. They let us do this. They’re taking a break. 

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah. So yes, I’m gonna be doing some podcast myself interviewing people as well. And we’re gonna include more women’s perspectives of things. So yeah, for an hour you’re gonna maybe see me once a month.

Robert Cunningham  

I have to say, I’m really honored that you chose me to be the first person interview or bring onto the podcast. 

Carina Cunningham  

Well, I guess so. Actually, they’re meeting you. We’re doing this together. But yeah, this is something that was a topic that I was thinking about for some time, and I’ve seen some people struggling with this. So today I want to talk about…

Robert Cunningham  

Urges, the sexual kind.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah, but more specific for single people. Of course, when you’re married, you have sexual urges. And if you’re sitting there with your spouse is lovemaking time.

Robert Cunningham  

If you’re a human being, you have sexual urges, I think. Actually, even animals probably.

Carina Cunningham  

I guess so. Yeah, exactly.

Robert Cunningham  

That’s a cool topic. What do you want to talk about?

Carina Cunningham  

I want to talk about sexual urges, because I think we don’t know how to deal with them. As a single person, when you’re a single, and you have sexual urges, and what do you do with them? You’re gonna act out or that’s where you’re trying to knock, you’re going through the process of sexual integrity, of learning how to master yourself. And you will have a spouse where you can use that energy, that your sexual power, your sexual urges, your hormones, they’re trying all over your body and really want you to feel something. But we don’t know how to deal with them. So we kind of tried to kill them by willpower and discipline. Usually when we do that, we try to see it as a very negative thing. You satan, get out of my body. Why are you trying to make me sad? Why are you trying to make me become active in this horrible thing, masturbate or something?

Robert Cunningham  

Like a whiny child and keeps showing up again and again. Like I want this. 

Carina Cunningham  

Exactly. So usually generates fairly negative emotions about your sexual energy, your sexual urges, and you feel down with yourself about why I have this, I’m the only one like this, and why I had to deal with this and feeling bad about yourself because you cannot control them or you feel like all that. Yeah, I want to talk about this to propose a different approach of how to deal with your sexual organism going and look about them the other way like an engaged couple.

Robert Cunningham  

Yeah that sounds really good. And as Carina was saying, we feel that genuinely people have this experience, maybe you don’t but from our experience of course, we felt that. And we’re gonna get into this just what it was like to grow up being taught maybe like hey, if you want to save yourself, remain pure for your spouse. But at the same time not really guided clearly so what do we do when we’re feeling strong sexual urges especially in the culture that we’re living in today where it’s hyper-sexualized. You can see it on TV, you see it on movies, you just go on the internet. Anyway, it’s kind of always in the background so I think there’s always kind of how would I put it igniting our sexual urge even a little bit more. Kind of bringing it to the surface, so that’s what we’re dealing with.

Carina Cunningham  

I know we’re not even talking about porn with more explicit content, that for sure will wake up that part of you, but yes every guy that becomes even more hard.

Robert Cunningham  

Yeah, I guess we can begin maybe talking about more of what we naturally experience .

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah, what about you, Robert?

Robert Cunningham  

Oh, yeah? 

Carina Cunningham  

What was your experience as a single person before you met me, dealing with sexual urges? 

Robert Cunningham  

Well, I think I feel like I was always a little bit sexually curious even when I was kind of younger. I remember some conversations as a kid talking to my friends on the bus, and I remember talking pretty explicitly, but I was pretty young so I guess for me I felt that must have had to do with something that I saw or heard.  I think just naturally, I felt just kind of curious about this and then. Of course, feeling that desire. I don’t know, I feel like I don’t have any victory story to be honest with you. For me, it was kind of like I had a sexual urge that I’ve done. I masturbate, and at some point when I was exposed to porn I’d seek data. And sometimes we kind of mentioned in the beginning, the sexual urge kind of was drawn out of me or as we like to say, I was triggered by something to want to feel like to get some sexual release or something. But there were even times when I just felt like it could have been boredom sometimes that led me to want to do something or sometimes it was a negative feeling that I was repressing. And because I found that acting on my sexual urge felt good in the moment, it was kind of a de-stress. And when I didn’t really think of it so deeply or didn’t think of the consequences, and it actually felt like the solution to whatever I was feeling even if it was just a natural urge I came up. And I couldn’t kind of take my mind off of it so I would say that was often the case. Maybe you guys, most of you can relate that once you feel that sexual urge, it can be really hard to get it out of your head. It seems like the only thing to do about it is to do something to actually act on your sexual urge. So yeah that was my experience, I guess. 

Carina Cunningham  

While you are getting closer to the matching process after you meet High Noon and you work with your porn habit, you learn all these things, how things change after that? 

Robert Cunningham  

That’s a really good question. Well, the way I put it is I think with hanging support, I learned to associate my sexual urge with something else. I think about it differently. I wouldn’t think of it as a linear path. But the moment I start having a sexual urge, it means acting out because that’s what I did feel. And I think I really just established that pattern just two years of doing the same thing and what I learned is how you can actually break that cycle. You can make a change but that took intentional effort to change that meaning and I did much better but sometimes, there was a vulnerable moment where maybe I woke up late and here the urge comes or you’re staying up late and the urge comes. So there were sometimes where I still didn’t always pick an intentional path and I was more going with what was my old pattern. But that’s the main thing that was different for me, like changing the meaning of what my sexual urge meant and then deciding that I was going to do something different. And making that practice to do something different. I mean, I can dimension a couple of things. Messaging someone, when you feel the sexual urge can be really powerful and we’re going to talk about this. But I guess when we actually got matched, I would actually message Carina. We had a little system to do that, I guess.

Carina Cunningham  

Before you message your support group? 

Robert Cunningham  

That’s right. Yeah, I messaged someone in my group. I messaged a friend. It’s just good because it kind of interrupted that cycle in the process. Of course again, I’m not gonna pretend, every time it’s guaranteed to work, but at least it really does interrupt and gives you the opportunity. Hey, whoa, I’m in control, I can do something different. I just chose something different. I messaged a friend. And often if you tell somebody you’re already deciding that I want to do a different path. Because you don’t want to tell your friend like, hey, I’m feeling this and you don’t want to tell them? Hey, I did. I went ahead with it. It’s kind of that’s the reason you’re saying it. And I should mention, like this friend or the group you meant you message, it’s your accountability partner, essentially, right there. They’re gonna keep you accountable to what you say. So that was a big step that helped me so much when I really tried to make that a habit that it’s like, okay, well, I’m feeling this way. Don’t even underestimate it because sometimes it’s not too bad, but it still remains when you have to do something different. The other thing that I really started to try to do is move your body. If you’re sunken down in your bed, and you’re starting to feel that way, or you’re given sitting in the same chair studying for a while, you got to move. Or else it just will sit and dwell in your mind forever. So you got to do something different. Strike the conversation with one of your family members or just go out and even take a walk outside. Those sort of things.

Carina Cunningham  

They were days that you just woke up and you have the urge. 

Robert Cunningham  

Your day is starting. So that’s what I would say simply. 

Carina Cunningham  

Great. Yeah.

Robert Cunningham  

But how about you? I’ve been talking a lot. For the beginning, in your early, for when you were younger.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah. For some reason. I feel like a very strange person. I don’t know. Please text me. Let me know afterwards if you have the same experience. But for myself,  since I was very young when I found out that if I touch myself, I get some stimulation. I didn’t even know what falling in love means. What that was, but I felt like it felt good. I mean, I’m talking about like five years old. So pretty young. So yeah, I was so innocent that I will even do it in front of my friends. When they sleep over, like what are you doing. Oh, this is something I do. It just makes you feel good. I don’t know. We have feelers like a very minor. Second of all, real thought, but yeah, I remember that. At the age of eight, maybe seven. I told my Mom like Mom, I found out about this. I know I like the womb. My mom telling me like, no, Carina, your sexual organs are very precious. Don’t touch them. It’s for your future husband. I’m like eight years old to that point. I already created the habit of whenever I fail to feel that self stimulation that I became known for.

Carina Cunningham  

So I need to deal with that. I never felt extremely guilty about it but something afterwards. My mom told me people think that this is fun. So I’m not gonna show it to people. But I’m doing this or so I will try to hide it a little bit.

Robert Cunningham  

So it became something that says don’t let other people know about this. It’s just to keep to myself.

Carina Cunningham  

Exactly. It goes, I felt good. But at the same time, I couldn’t completely understand what he was doing wrong. I just knew or found out after 10 years that this is something I’m not supposed to. But like not completely understanding. Then, of course, we have a lot of education on sexuality and then you start to figure it out, though. I guess that’s why it’s wrong and you hear a lot of stuff. But it wasn’t strong enough for me to stop this and I always tried to fantasize. Because for my case, I didn’t struggle with pornography but I did like watch Korean drama, romance and stuff. And to justify myself, I will put a face to the main character and think this is gonna be my future castle or something like that. But some of this joke to me was I think it was like 18 or 19 years old. Starting to be more serious in preparation for the matching process and get ready for commitment, relationship. And I drew father during the Samuel moon. Isn’t he say several times and this is repeated many times that your sexual organ is not yours, it’s your husbands. And your husband’s sexual organs are your sexual organs. So your sexual organs are exchanged. 

Robert Cunningham  

So exchange ownership. 

Carina Cunningham  

Exchange ownership of it. Isn’t it so suddenly like trying to understand very deeply why I was wrong. I realized I don’t know what was wrong, but immature me. If this is not my sexual organ, and I feel in pleasure with myself, is a kind of I’m not asking permission for it. Just using something that is not mine, basically. And it’s gonna like this. Yes, I, myself, just pleasure. This actual organ is supposed to be created for mutual pleasure. In that case, we’re not doing mutual pleasure. So if any, if the fact is out, you’re just doing it for your own pleasure. So that really takes me out, but then I need to kind of learn how to deal with them. For some reason, I don’t know why for now. From where they came from, I don’t know because my friends were very open to it or because I just always felt and kept in mind the fact that they’re very normal in my life, when I get married, why I’m gonna use my social orders for mutual pleasure. So I start to see them in a more healthy way when I have sexual urges. And, of course, I will think about my sexual organ as a separate being. What Do you call that? Super being separate being or giving them a character. So yeah, I remember, I really need time where I have a strong social order and I put my hand there not doing anything, and kind of like, talk to my sexual organ. Kind of brain as well. It’s like, okay, darling, make it very soft. Boy says no, hey, Carina, I know that you want him. You want him, you want to meet him, you wanna connect with him but he’s still around yet. And we need to wait for him. And even if we do something between you and me. No going heavy. The thing that we want is I will put your hand in my boom.

Robert Cunningham  

Get your wrist.

Carina Cunningham  

Anyway, offering that kind of sexual urges, not as something like, what are you doing? Keep me alone or are you trying to make me sane or something that is like, hey, I know that you want it. And please don’t stop it. Because I need you in the future. So they’re even at that time still writing to my letter for my future husband. And I remember I wrote a letter like, hey, remember this time when you are married. And once you’re married, and you can have sex with your husband. Please do it as much as you can. So remember, all this time where we couldn’t do it, they were quite different. Like saying these moments, so remember those difficult times because then you’re gonna be able to enjoy them. Of course, not all the time, I was able to do that. Not all the time, I was able to overcome the urges on our way through. I’m not gonna say that. All the times I really need to move because I put my hand there though. Those are gonna happen.

Robert Cunningham  

You had to get out of that spot move, do something else.

Carina Cunningham  

I don’t know most times, but I always try to connect them in that way with our heart. But sometimes I say like, okay, pray, even if you know it’s gonna have an effect on us. I don’t know, I’m never gonna say it was perfect every time. 

Robert Cunningham  

You don’t even recommend it to someone necessarily? 

Carina Cunningham  

I don’t know, I think maybe the approach, the actual action. But at least the approach of the fact that you’re having a sexual urge doesn’t mean that your body’s trying to make you commit a sin or you have evil inside of you or..

Robert Cunningham  

Or it’s like your master and you have no choice and you just have to follow the whim of you’re.. 

Carina Cunningham  

Exactly, on the opposite side of it. It’s just you have a sexual organ that once some pleasure and we have hormones that may really serve some time, push us to that, but all that why was created. Although it was created with a purpose to love inside a marriage. So don’t see it as something evil. It’s like I have a sexual urges. I’m a person healthy person who wants to find love. So let’s keep working like new hyip perfect. Let’s keep working to create and become a person who can be in a relationship and uses this energy and hormones and pleasure to love a person and naturally connect that. And saying, I have this. It’s not the moment, thank you for calling.

Robert Cunningham  

This is a reminder that I need to work on myself because they’re not ready for a relationship. This is a reminder that a game like this is gonna happen one day and I need to connect with God. Instead of saying it from the perspective thing, from a healthy perspective.There’s a perspective that someone showed to me one time, and it really helped me to be hey, this is your indicator. God didn’t make a mistake by giving you sexual urges before you could do anything. God didn’t have some oversight. God actually needed us to prepare ourselves so that when the time that we were with our spouse, that we were mature, we mastered ourselves and we were in harmony with ourselves. Because the way when you share that with me, I really feel like there’s a harmony that you’re creating. It’s not like you’re dominating it, you’re not acting like this is my enemy, but it’s like a part of you. And it’s kind of learning to accept and listen and work with this part of yourself the same way. I guess we have to listen to parts of our bodies. We have to listen to how our muscles are feeling. We have to listen to how our stomachs feel, obviously, different. Although the craving to eat sometimes can be very strong, it’s different. But in a similar way it gets as you were trying to develop harmony. I would also like to add that it’s just very beautiful, honestly, to hear you share that, because I think I never quite was able to wrap my head around the fact completely that this was a completely, like a pure thing, an original thing to have this urge. And I think it’s because it always became convoluted with porn, but even when it wasn’t, that it was just fantasy and things like imagining, doing something. So I think that’s really nice to hear. And it makes me think about the big question. It’s what we do. I think it first starts in the mind. Know how we see it, how we view it as what you make me think of it. As well, if I may add, I also think that it’s also how we can be proactive about it. Like that’s something that I remember I did actually. In that time, it’s like I really kind of took care of myself. And I also anticipated that, hey, I usually have an urge, especially at a certain time of day that actually I would do something before that time. I would take time to reflect. I would make sure I’m not putting myself in a very passive or mindless state where I’m more susceptible to just give in to my urge, but actually kind of put myself in a more of a aware present grateful that was always something that helped me a lot when I took time to reflect on gratitude. Then I just felt full in a way, it felt like I could engage in this. But I know that at the end, it leads me to feeling not so great about myself honestly, makes me feel kind of weak. Before it made me feel like some terrible person, but I learned that actually no, it’s not evil similar to you. It’s like, I’m not bad. I’m not a terrible person for doing this, but I felt like I wanted to be better. I want to have more control over myself. I don’t want to just be someone who’s mastered by just the urge to do something, then oh, I’m just gonna go do it as well. It was really important for me to prepare to be a husband one day and as you say, share in the beautiful, mutual pleasure with your spouse. So yeah, it was more to your story in terms of pre-meeting me, pre-getting bliss is going to share in terms of purchase.

Carina Cunningham  

I was just thinking, like, yeah, I hope I have all the urges that I used to have that time now. And everyday, we are active. I have that. I don’t realize it. But yeah, I guess, if I haven’t, everything will be more active. 

Robert Cunningham  

Yeah, but really pretty good.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah.

Robert Cunningham  

I can’t believe she come on to the podcast and was talking about sex life. So we can get back to talking about urges.

Carina Cunningham  

Exactly. Yeah. So yeah, we’re gonna talk about a little bit how we deal with it during the matching process, because there’s another stage and this is a question I receive a lot. And I was like, oh, is that okay, by masturbating thinking about my fiance, he said.  I don’t know, what do you think?

Robert Cunningham  

Well, I mean, I guess the answer is kind of obvious, is what we were talking about earlier. You still aren’t each other’s spouse, you’re taking that time to prepare yourself for that moment where you can engage together physically, connected mind, body and soul, like everything. And you can’t do that with imagination in your head, because the imagination of your spouse isn’t your spouse, or sorry, we’re not talking about your spouse, talking about your partner. And you shouldn’t get used to fantasizing or idealizing who your partner is when they’re not even your partner.

Carina Cunningham  

I mean, they’re on like you have expectations or concepts that you are creating yourself, but they’re actually not real, because he has seen that person already. Or you actually know how they’re going to act. 

Robert Cunningham  

Sure, you’re making it up in your head a little bit. How they respond, how they act, that sort of thing. If we don’t want to condemn you like, oh, that’s a terrible thing. But at the same time, I don’t think it’s harmless. It does have an impact on you, especially if you engage with that kind of thinking, again. It creates a certain expectation and so yeah, when you come to find the view of your spouse, you may be wanting her or him to act in the way that you had been kind of imagining and dreaming. So that would be kind of my first thought about it, of why I’d against doing that sort of thing. However, I will just be honest with you, I get it. If you feel that way especially as time goes on, in the matching process, when you’re getting closer to being engaged, it feels like wow, I can’t wait to view this person. Of course, it’s exciting but it’s also a little bit like a nervous feeling too. And it’s like oh my gosh, we have to do this. So yeah, like I get it. That’s what I’ll say. How about you? What do you often tell people? What kind of advice do you give people like that?

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah, so I go through more of the practical aspect of it. Use the opportunity to talk, get used to to talk about little things with your future spouses. And so you have an urge to tell him like hey, I really have an edge probably because I really want to love you. It’s not the time but I want to let you know. It’s like we started to like each other very soon, our relationship to share with each other. When we call a is another like I will have levels of urges. So depending on the level of urges. We will say something at some point like this person. It’s  for example, if you will send me a really cute message and wake me up even in that aspect of that area. I will let him know which level we can make me excited or aroose. And I’m not gonna have that I just like you later. Maybe I have a reaction because I start to have feelings and love from him but I have feelings for you and I’m not gonna use this opportunity to get pleasure for myself as I know or I don’t want that. It’s like remember that your message emailed me and they have like a massive rating because of that. 

Robert Cunningham  

I feel guilty.

Carina Cunningham  

But because no one that definitely felt different and was like yeah you have a sexual urge, maybe. But it’s different when the other pursues offering that the other person isn’t, just like so we have a level as I say, like a level over chooses and we have like emojis.

Robert Cunningham  

Yeah, we should explain that.

Carina Cunningham  

Agent will represent.

Robert Cunningham  

Yeah so because one thing maybe is it can be, first of all, it can be very hard to talk about this with somebody. So again I don’t feel like, oh, we have to start doing this, with your person that you may be thinking about the startup process of course. This is a certain level of trust and commitment that has to be established a little bit but I think just naturally, not an easy topic to talk about with somebody else. Perhaps, you haven’t even talked about that with your family or with friends. So it’s like how do I even talk about it with this person. So even for us, even if we had gone a little bit more comfortable sometimes, it’s hard to put it into words and if you don’t want to get too specific anyways. So one thing we wanted to do is just like the way we communicate was actually through emojis. Especially in the beginning, when we first started to do this and even we had different emojis meaning different strings, sometimes when we use the poop emoji, I guess it brought some humor to it in that sense but it definitely.

Carina Cunningham  

It kind of gave us a lot of bad experiences probably. Just keeping it for ourselves.

Robert Cunningham  

Sure well so in this case, we were able to work as each other’s accountability partners. I will say though that you have to really talk about it with your spouse and make that kind of agreement between each other. That we made that agreement, we felt comfortable both to do that but your partner or the person that you’re engaged thinking about being with your match may not be comfortable actually receiving that sort of message from you. That oh, I’m feeling this way and that should be respected. Anyways, I’m just bringing that up. 

Carina Cunningham  

I mean depending on what your situation is, sometimes you feel like you’re struggling with porn and you’re struggling with feeling urges from an outside source. In a relationship that can be very hurtful to each other and so you need to be more careful why are you sharing what he carries. And well first of all, I know we’re capable. We’re kind of at a similar level at a time like our experiences. 

Robert Cunningham  

Great because you had no exposure to porn and I had worked on it so that porn was no longer a big factor in my life.

Carina Cunningham  

Exactly, so yeah. Depending on like where you at but I still believe that even if you are struggling with pornography or you are struggling with something more during the maturing process, it will be good of course to tell the person but as well like share with each other when you are feeling like that urge. But it’s like from each that wakes up your sexual organ. It’s unfair, I know. I guess like there’s always some message. Something like I was very feeling this way so this is all the sensations are new and of course you know when I say from day one. But little by little, I think that communication and sharing opened the door to share what it really helps. Like creating the foundation for later when you want to actually start your sexual urges. 

Robert Cunningham  

That is very true. You can’t go from 0 to 100 without being able to talk about it. So, you’re right. 

Carina Cunningham  

Just like normalizing it or normalizing the fact that your love is connected with your sexuality. For women too because women tend to like oh, I don’t feel anything. I know like when you’re reeling from my experience, it’s like someone knocking the door in your sexual organ when you ever see and feel that love.

Robert Cunningham  

Some of those receiving a message from you was like I was knocking.

Carina Cunningham  

Exactly, they call and you say something, you lose something, make it very cute or romantic. And I feel like these women, of course, it was super helpful because they had to put it in words to me like, it’s super difficult to learn. But yeah, it’s like, start to connect in the fact that your experiences with love.

Robert Cunningham  

Emotional connection, as well.

Carina Cunningham  

Exactly. With your sexual urges, with that sexual energy, you are creating this love. Because when you’re in the matching process, you’re creating a sexual energy, for sure. If you are long enough in that relationship, so instead of saying something bad, try to use that as a preparation for the next stage.

Robert Cunningham  

Yeah, wonderfully said. So what else should we tell these people about sexual urges to begin to any more practical side of things. I feel like we did touch on quite a bit. We talked about your experienced sexual urge. It’s about changing the meaning of it. And perhaps changing what that pattern is. Sexual urge comes up, perhaps in the past. It is meant to get some acting on it. I’m going to masturbate or touch myself. But it’s switching that perspective. And as you were saying, even like to start to see it as this is your indicator from God. You’re telling this yourself that, hey, you’re preparing to be with your partner one day, and that your sexual organ is even just telling you, hey, we want to get there someday. We want to get there and experience something real. And I think that’s really powerful. And then just in general, just creating that kind of harmonious way of looking at yourself, way of looking at your sexual urges, the thing that God gave you, and I think that’s really beautiful.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah. And that’s why we talk about in a matching process, how to deal with that energy, that you’re creating toward each other. Of course, something to add, as well as. If you are dealing with other kinds of sexual difficulties and struggles, please connect with someone here from High Noon, we’ve got a whole program for men and women struggling with porn and masturbation. And I mean, I think either way, even if you’re struggling or not, I strongly recommend high noon. They’re programmed to understand more about your past. And they have helped me so much. Because like,

Robert Cunningham  

It’s great content.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah. Like I knew that I knew this. And like so many things that I knew. And it really helped us to create a foundation as far as to help me too, as well. There’s not without man the vocabulary to talk about those things. And so I learned so much vocabulary to be able to share what it is. Because before I don’t even know what that means. What do I call this? So I don’t even know what sexual urge. I don’t know. I was oh, I don’t know. What is this? They have a word for it. Sure. 

Robert Cunningham  

I can think of things like triggers as well. That was the word that was introduced. And somehow it’s a game with identifying it as a label, it helps you then to kind of see it for what it is. Yeah, that’s a very important point.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah. For example, the definition of masturbation, itself and stimulation. I, myself, I never masturbate, because I thought that I never..

Robert Cunningham  

…Create a concept of what masturbation was.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah, exactly. So for myself, I don’t masturbate. I just do this is, no more explanation. Like being part of this. Or like the concept of pornographers and I know in class of pornography, it’s like any external source that sexually stimulate to that it’s not your spouse. So at the end of the day, it’s like pornography is not just difficult matter for you, as we think. So I really strongly recommend even as a couple to do it together. Because it really will help the foundation of being able to talk about those things because you are in a program or because you’re learning a lot. It helps a lot of..

Robert Cunningham  

…conversations about your past.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah, I think you’ll become more safe as well. I feel more safe or okay, now I can share more details. I can share more stuff because you felt like I was ready for it.

Robert Cunningham  

Oh, yeah. Well, actually, yeah, you’re right. That was my experience. When you became a little bit more aware of this. It did help me to feel like when I should share this with you, a struggle that I was having with masturbation or my past with porn. I could feel it, she could understand me and that she wasn’t coming from a place of judgment, but she was coming from a place that hey, even though I can’t completely relate or understand or completely be in your shoes, but at least I can understand I know the impact that this has on you. Anyways, I have explained the contents of the course, but you need to check it out. That’s what we’re talking about here.

Carina Cunningham  

Yeah, you’re single or a couple, I think that kind of content will really help you to navigate the social urges as well. But we won’t have to be this contact for you to share our experience about it. And if so, change and live with the concept of it. The main thing is our sexual energy or sexual urges are connected with our love. And we need to protect our love. So it’s connected to our spouse, and girls. And so that love can be really beautiful and pure and create, like the most amazing relationship life families. And so we will need to see every sexual urge as something that we can see, as a preparation, as a second connection with our spirituality.

Robert Cunningham  

So have anything to add to that?

Carina Cunningham  

So yeah, thank you, everyone, for listening to us if you got here. Thank you for getting all this time. And I hope to see you soon.

Robert Cunningham  

I hope that we were hopeful. And please feel free to reach out.

Carina Cunningham  

Bye bye. 

Andrew Love  

Hello, everybody, Andrew, love here. And I just wanted to add one more point. High Noon is a nonprofit organization and we are run by donations. And although we’ve been doing okay, thanks to the massive generosity of our founders, the wolfen burgers, we want to expand higher, higher, higher, higher. We want to make a global impact. We want to reach every family. We want to change the culture. And for that to happen, we’re going to need a lot of volunteers. And a lot of staff. That’s just the reality it takes money to travel, it takes money to do a lot of the things we do. And we want to let you be a part of this growth. And so what we’ve created is a donor’s club, which is a $10 a month club, and when you join, you get a T-shirt, mailed to your door. You can get some exclusive content. And we also have some really good goodies for our tribe of people who are part of the donors club that we’re going to talk about in the coming months. So I just wanted to invite you to be one of these people. Everybody can afford $10 a month. It’s just a matter of whether it’s a priority. So if you feel High Noon has impacted you positively or your family or somebody you know, please consider donating. I don’t want you to give any money unless you really, really want to. But if you do want to, I encourage you to really, really donate. So $10 a month is I don’t know, a cut a month. I don’t know how to measure it. It’s a giant hamburger and french fries a month that you can sacrifice in order to help this world become a more habitable, more enjoyable, more connected, more loving place. So please consider joining our donors club. It’s just $10 a month. We look forward to seeing you on the inside of our secret society for donors. Have a good day, buddy.

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#1 – Masturbation

Join Andrew Love and Sammy Uyama as they discuss the “touchy” topic of masturbation from varying perspectives.They discuss influences, triggers and motivations behind the act as well as alternative ways of thinking as a means to focus one’s energy and attention on living better lives without it.

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