#79 – My Purity Journey | Leena Vincenz-Gavin

Ep. 79 - Podcast Thumbnail Title: Podcast Thumbnails

“If you’re still waiting for your special someone, don’t give up. They’re out there, they’re worth waiting for, and you’re worth waiting for. God has a great plan for your life.” 

– Leena Vincenz-Gavin

Nowadays, the evolution of technologies and social media has made it easier for everyone to communicate with each other. Even finding a person to date is now possible with just one click. In modern times like these, more and more teenagers, especially young adults, are taking risks of meeting people through dating sites leading to “meet-ups”. As a result, maintaining purity has become far more difficult as you try to remain strong against the pressure and temptations around you.

At the end of the day, only you can decide.  Remember that embracing purity is a long journey, and you must be prepared for the many challenges along the way. Sometimes, you may even have to remove certain people in your life especially if they are leading you back to your worldly pleasure and sinful desires. That is why you need to have the right reasons and a clear purpose for why you want to be pure.  Make sure that you want to do this because you love God and not because you are forced to do so. 

In this episode, Carina Cunningham will be interviewing Leena Vincenz-Gavin, the co-director of the school of love, which is under the High Noon who helps parents have rewarding and fruitful conversations about sex with their kids. 

Leena shares her own story growing up being an adolescent and how she was able to surpass all the common issues that come with it, particularly dating. She also opens up about her meaningful moments with her husband from the time they met until they grew together as a couple. As a parent, she pointed out the value of talking to children about sex. In addition, she also shares the difference between wanting a committed relationship versus looking for the right person.

Join us, as we tackle how teenagers can align their goals to their values, handle peer pressure, learn the importance of prayer in their pursuit of purity.

  • Value of purity
  • Seeking out my relationship with God
  • Aligning your values
  • Learning to try to let things go
  • Matching your goals with your values
  • Putting everything in God’s hand and learning to let go
  • Growing and learning from your experiences
  • Staying committed in a marriage
  • Value of purity in saving sex or marriage
  • Focusing more on the principles of creation
  • Learning to listen to your children

Episode Transcript:

Carina Cunningham 

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another High Noon podcast Love, Light, and Legacy. Today, we have an incredible guest with us, and she is Leena, the director of the School of Love, High Noon Families. And today we’re going to learn more about her and her journey. And I want to let her introduce herself a little bit. I think you need it. I don’t know if you know, but she already did a podcast episode with Sammy Uyama and your husband Jario. So yes. If anyone or no one knows about you, maybe they haven’t heard the other podcast about what they should know about you, Leena? 

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Ah, yes. Hey, Carina, thanks for having me on High Noon. So, I’m Leena Vincenz-Gavin. I live in Mobile, Alabama. I’m married to Jario, and we have two kids. They are now nine and six. We’ve been blessed in marriage for almost 14 years. It’s the summer and yes, I’m really happy too and honored to be a part of High Noon through specifically also School of Love, the project. We call it the next absence education. We might share a little bit about that today. But yes. I think today, I’ll be sharing about my own journey with purity and everything. It’s just really going so well together with what we’ve been able to do in School of Love. So you’ll kind of get a little bit more of the backstory and my personal experiences and maybe why we got into this too. I think that’s it. I like turquoise, and I’ve always liked palm trees a lot. But I never even saw them in real life. And then we moved down here to the Coast, South Alabama, and now we have palm trees one in front of our house. So random fact. Yes, I’m happy to be here.

Carina Cunningham 

Fun fact as well, you might have a house like in your order. Why do we have two palms in the front of the house in a tropical country?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

I love it.

Carina Cunningham 

Great. I think it’s gonna be a great episode on what has been done. Many webinars on content preparation for friends about purity. But all that content is based on your own journey, experience, and established as well. So it’s gonna be great to know about you and what is, what is this about? Why this topic is so important for you and why you wanted to know, I don’t know if the roosters can, if you can hear the roosters. I’m so sorry about that. The roosters are around here, so you may hear them sometimes, but yeah. So yes. Today, we used to talk about purity. And there are three phases of purity if I’m not mistaken. When you’re a single person when you’re married and then when you’re raising your kids. So it is incredible. You have a, you’re going, you went through and you’re going through all those experiences, isn’t it? And yes, maybe we can start when you grow up? What is your story about your purity? How do you feel about it? And what was your journey?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yes, thank you. It’s interesting how you put it to think about the three stages because it’s true. Purity is not just until marriage, it’s actually an ongoing lifestyle. So, we’ll start at the beginning. I mean, for me growing up, honestly, the value of purity was a really big part of my faith for me too. And this is something that I appreciated about our faith community growing up that we valued and promoted. Purity is a really big part of my life because obviously, growing up, especially as your hormones kick in and you start to have crushes and like people, it’s such a big part of your world. Those feelings, and your peers and everyone’s starting to date and all of that. So, it’s a pretty big decision. And I can’t imagine, honestly, in today’s world, trying to also make that kind of decision because there are even more temptations out there and social media and phones. And so when I was growing up, I had no phone. I got a phone when I was 19, I think, after our STF Euro experience, and so anyway, just some perspective, I was a little different back then.

Carina Cunningham 

How old are you?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

When did I get my phone? I was, I think I was 19.

Carina Cunningham 

No. I mean, now.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

I’m 34 now. Yes, it’s not that long ago. But, yes, it’s just a slightly different world. But still, we still faced and had the same temptations in many ways. So for me growing up, I would say, around sixth grade and junior high, I started to have really strong feelings for people. Of course, I had crushes before that but that temptation to act on it more in junior high. And there was just naturally some flirting or things like that. But what was hard for me in junior high was, I didn’t honestly really have my own reason to want to be pure. It was more on if someone asked me, I’d say, Oh, I’m not allowed to. I would make up an excuse, or blame it on my parents so it’s harder for me to face temptations and face guys and say no, and that was a harder time. And then I actually went to this program called GOP in Korea for one year. I went a little older than those people who went to junior high, I went my freshman year. But for me, that was the year where I really spent time working on my faith to seek out God and my relationship with Him. And also purity, I really want to kind of make it my own reasoning. And I was able to do that during that year, which was very life-changing for me. And I’m trying to think of how I did it or what I did, but I remember doing different conditions and praying and things and working on my own relationship with God. But also, things you might not think about. I remember reading some fun little fairy tale books with the girls like Ella Enchanted or something. I think that was a movie too, which is a rom-com, but it made me look forward to it. And then, I do remember reading other books, back in the day from Joshua Harris’s I Kissed Dating Goodbye, stuff like that it was neat to hear. I’m just a different perspective of someone waiting. But anyway, so basically, when I came back to the US, and I went to high school as a sophomore, I missed freshman year. But that year was kind of an adjustment time, but then in my junior and senior years of high school were just awesome. And I loved it. And honestly, it’s because I was able to really figure out who I am, what I stand for, both in my face, but also my own morals, my boundaries. And what was really liberating is I was able to be one person everywhere I went. I felt like the same person at home, at school, at church, I didn’t feel I had to hide something or be something I’m not or pretend, or I was really able to just be me and be proud of that. And once I really made that choice for myself, I want to stay pure, I want to save myself or my future spouse. It made it easier if guys asked me out, or things to say no, not always it’s still a little hard but then after a while, you just say no to everyone, people kind of get it and respect you. And, another big thing that helped me was besides finding my reason was finding the right group of friends and the right environment. I learned that in junior high one time because I remember going to a party that I didn’t know what kind of party it would be. There wasn’t even drinking or anything at the time. But anyway, I remember feeling so uncomfortable not knowing what to do. I didn’t have a phone, I couldn’t text my mom or something to pick me up. So anyway, in high school when I was able to find a group of friends that had similar beliefs like this Christian youth group, I had to public school, but I hung out with the Christian youth group, and we’d do like prayer group together, we would do Saturday night do youth group and it was really great to just be surrounded with other people who were inspiring with their relationship with God. And we could really just be friends between boys and girls. It was really like a friend thing. And my parents were able to trust me and trust my friends. And it was a lot, I had friends who were boys and girls, but it was just so different because anyway I would be safe.  Anyway, I feel a big part of being able to choose your peers in high school too, is one reason to choose the right friends in the right environment. I’m in a safe environment, I felt comfortable in and supported in and could have friends and yeah, those are some things I interview with any questions, but that I think of leading up to or during my teenage years.

Carina Cunningham 

Yes, no, that’s so great that you were able to define a group of friends that can, the way they were able to align with your values. My question is, it was always calm before that calm, Do you ever feel pressure from peers? Oh, she’s a good girl or why don’t you have a boyfriend or things like that?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yes, I remember. I remember sometimes kids, those things I hated the most is people would sometimes call me, what do you call it? Prude? Oh, you’re such a prude. And I hated it so much. And it’s funny because people assume that people who are choosing purity are wholly innocent, I don’t know, beings that never think about anything. But honestly,  I don’t know, I thought about boys a lot. And I think I had a pretty high drive, I guess I don’t know. But I remember being offended by that because I’d be, no, it’s not that I don’t want to do things or I don’t know, being with someone. But I’m choosing to save that. And I remember one time when someone asked me to a school dance, it was their senior prom, and I was a junior. And it’s funny because I wrote him a long letter. Why I’m why, I won’t go to the dance with you, which is so funny looking back, but I felt that’s what I need to do. Anyway, it’s so funny. But I think because I felt bad saying no. But then honestly, in my senior year, I went to a prom with a friend and it was fine. It’s just different stages of life and where you’re at, earlier in high school, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to do that. But by that time, we just had a good time having a group of friends. And it was very comfortable. And just as a friend, it wasn’t anything sexual or anything like that. Anyway, I can’t remember your question now. But…

Carina Cunningham 

No, my question is, if you have ever experienced some peer pressure questions…

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yeah, And one other thing that helped me because I remember I came back from this program where for a year I was just surrounded by people trying to get to know God, and you’re in this bubble, then I was thrown into public high school. I remember being kind of, whoa, caught off guard at first, the bathrooms would smell like smoke. I remember during study hall, like the older boys, Junior, seniors talking about really inappropriate things. And I was like, oh, coming into this world at first. But I remember one thing that helped me too, is I would just write in a journal or notebook at school whenever I struggled or felt lonely, and I started writing letters to my future spouse, which I think really helped me so then, yeah, I gave those to Jerio a while after we’re blessed, but it’d be like, I can’t wait to walk on the beach and kiss and whatever, so I would put those urges into writing, I guess.

Carina Cunningham 

Yeah, that sounds like a great tip. I’m more because I guess at the moment, you feel it’s gonna be forever. You feel, oh my gosh, I’m gonna be like this. Whatever. When they, when is this person gonna call?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

It’s true. Feels like a really long waiting game sometimes. Yeah.

Carina Cunningham 

Wow. So incredible. How are you, after high school and or all that process? How do you prepare to get much?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yeah. For me, I guess I felt that it was a natural next step. Also, my parents are older than usual, I was adopted, so they’re quite a bit older. And so they really wanted to help me find a spouse as soon as possible. And at that time, people were getting matched younger, too. After high school, I took a year. I went to Europe STF and took admission work there. And actually, my husband Jerio was there as well. He was in his second year. We got to know each other. I met him once when we’re young at some event, and our parents are good friends. Actually, what’s interesting is one time his parents are visiting us in Chicago. He’s from Minnesota. I’m from Chicago originally. And one time his parents are visiting us. And they are talking about how Jerio, his older brother, was loving your best chat. And that was our connection. We’re like, oh, what a, when we learned about it, and that’s why I went there, which is interesting. And then he was there. During that time, I think, yeah, I had that moment in Korea, where I was able to really strengthen my faith and everything, but then, your faith goes through ups and downs. And there was also a time towards the end of high school when I was starting to kind of doubt things again. And so for me, my time in Europe was really again, the work I’m in and my faith and confirm my beliefs. And then also to prepare me, as you said, for my future spouse or get more ready. So it was also good because I’m an only child, so I don’t have, I don’t know much about guys, I guess. So, for me having guy friends in high school, and then being, living with them and, in Europe was a good experience just to get to know brothers or, and see what they’re like. But as far as preparing, I think for me there are two main components, one was my own relationship with God, and especially the trust component, learning to try to just let things go, laid in God’s hands and trust. The other part would be one second, I need a drink.

Carina Cunningham 

Okay. And the other part is?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Okay, so one part was a component with God and building trust. And then, the other part, honestly, would be my relationship with my parents. And yeah, I’m grateful that I always felt growing up being very comfortable and open to talk and share with my parents, especially my mom. We’re very close. And so that helped me a lot. And my mom was, she would ask me, oh, do you have some boys in mind? or it was a very open thing where they wanted my input. And it was nice because we really chose to pursue finding someone together. We were talking about it together, we’d share ideas together, we would pray together, do conditions. So it’s very much like a team effort between my parents and me. But yeah, so we, let’s see. So during that time, I wanted to do the second year of STF. But my parents really wanted me to come home, go to college and find my spouse, so I did, and I’m glad I did. And during that year, I was in college, my first year. And first, they went to a parent’s matching convocation and there was someone potential they thought might work, and I kind of tried for a little while we talked but just we found out our bigger life goals and values just didn’t match up or align really. So then that ended. And then after that, I am, yeah, we’re kind of just, oh, what should we do? What should we do next week? We’re pursuing it in a sense, which is funny. And then naturally, things evolved with my husband now. I guess I’m telling the story if that’s okay.

Carina Cunningham 

Sure, of course, I imagine everything in my mind. It’s like the whole movie. Please keep going.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Okay, yeah, so actually Jerios, going back a little bit when we’re on STF. Yes, I thought he was great. At one point, I definitely had a crush on him. I loved, I loved how he interacted with the little kids, and I would see him at centers and his faith, his joy, just different things, right? But at that time, he went to a blessing in Korea where he was matched and blessed. While we’re on STF. So then, of course, I thought, okay, he’s my brother. He’s taken, there’s that. Anyway, that’s more his own story to tell. But in the end, it turned out, she wasn’t ready, which is sad, but I guess, in the end, it’s meant to be. In the end, it turned out that she really wasn’t ready. And so, they broke that. And it was shortly, anyway, I was like international and there are a lot of different things. But they hadn’t lived together or anything like that. And, it was quite heartbreaking for him, I think. You prepare your whole life, and then that happens to you. And so we, they came down to Chicago for an event, and it was just him and his parents. And we were like, that’s interesting. Why is it only him and his parents because they have six boys? So we’re, we were in a matching mode a little bit, and so I had found out that, that blessing had ended from a friend. So then before they came down, I actually prayed for 40 days. That, you know, hey, God, if it’s meant to be, make it happen. And if not, that I could just see him as a friend and not get set on it. And Jerio calls it a spiritual trap. But anyway, they came down, and we were at a weekend church event, and they stayed at our house, and we just had a really good time. Our parents are already close. And they appreciated me. And his parents and my parents loved him. And I and I had a great time just catching up. We talked late into the night, and I had just similar passions; we were both doing youth ministry at the time. And yeah, it really clicked. So then, after that weekend, my parents and I talked, and they were, anyway, we all felt Jerio would be great. And then we pray. We prayed together, my parents and I, for seven days a week. This is very different at the time how courting or matching went. It was very quick and simple. Basically, then, my dad called his dad. And then his dad said, oh, we want to pray about it. So then they prayed about it for seven days. So then they called his dad and called my dad back or my family and was like, yeah, we’d like to accept Leena as our daughter-in-law. And that’s how it was then, basically, we’re a match. We never talked once the whole time. I remember some, but because I knew him, I knew him before I was able to do that. And so basically, that’s your match.

Carina 

Yeah, we love, we would love Leena to be our daughter-in-law. Wow.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yeah and then we talked that night, and I guess I just felt it was all very natural. Things just kind of happened and flowed, and I just kind of put it in God’s hands and just let go. And I was hoping for it, but also not overthinking it, over questioning it and I think that’s one big thing in marriage. The difference of commitment, versus always looking for the right person and looking for that compatibility and all that. I’m just trusting that you can grow that together and create that. Anyway, that’s a bit of our story, but I got to share more about the experience of growing up in purity and then getting into a relationship right and how that worked.

Carina Cunningham 

Yeah, so just one question. Leena, how old were you when you got blessed, you both got blessed?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

I was 20 and he was 21. So we’re young. We’re in college.  I was 21 as well. But what, so what, I know that we’re talking about purity, but in the relationship of purity, what do you think helped the matching process in your marriage and everything to work? As soon as you save yourself all your life, and then they give you your husband, say, okay, do whatever you want. That’s hard. Yeah. And honestly, I know a lot of people that grew up in the purity movement had a hard time actually. Once they were finally allowed to or be with someone, they didn’t know how to relate, or they were scared of it or saw sex it’s like a shameful thing. Which luckily, wasn’t my case. And I think I take the credit to my parents because even if around me sometimes there was this more black and white version of purity. I felt my parents had a good balance, their trust in me growing up, and allowing me to still have friends that were guys, for instance, so I had some encounters with guys in general. But, for us, it just felt like a natural next step. I was just super excited about it. I was excited to get into it. There were no issues in our case, honestly, I think people again have that concept, sometimes of when you’re pure, you have no experience, or you’re, I don’t know, but honestly, if you’re saving up all this excitement and energy, then it’s ready to pow like fireworks. I don’t know, you’re just ready to, and you’re excited about it. So I think I’m grateful for having chosen purity for sure. And again, for anyone that was in physical relationships, I think you can always grow and learn from your experiences. And I think there’s always grace and you can still create a beautiful love story. But, in my case, I’m really grateful that my husband is my only real friend since I never really dated or had relationships, but it was very natural. And, just him being able to be kind of my first and almost everything. We personally didn’t really have issues and just, it was really exciting. And we chose to wait for 40 days to have sex. But we got to experience everything else in between in the meantime. Yeah, so it is definitely worth waiting for. And I know, some people too, would just in general at college or something saying, why are you getting married so young? You’re missing life, you’re, they felt I was gonna miss out on all this stuff and make a mistake. But to me, being able to come home to my husband every night and be intimate and be with him and love the person I’m with, versus going out to a party and I don’t know what life I would miss. I was happy. I was fine with that choice.  

Carina Cunningham 

Now again, every bit of love with that is like, well, I don’t know. Whatever I need soon is to know how we would dovey with my husband, not the other thing. I don’t know if it’s your experience, but my experience has been like this, I am with my husband, I’m having, I have grown a lot, a lot more. I have experienced so much more freedom because I feel free and with the foundation of trying new things and thinking of my own decisions and just experiencing more life more, actually, than what I was able to do as a single person.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yeah, for sure. And one other big thing people are often scared of, in general relationships is they’re afraid to lose themselves. You know, that concept. I’m going to lose myself. But to me, I’ve really felt like you bring two people together, and you gain a whole new world. It’s like a new cell phone. Yeah, but I love what you shared because for sure you learn through each other you grow, and I don’t think you can ever wait around for the 100% compatible perfect guy. It just doesn’t happen and so I felt, in our case, when things lined up and we felt God moving and it was just like, let’s just commit and grow and learn. Marriage isn’t like, oh, honestly, in our first year, we don’t even have a fight a year in, and we had a pretty easy start, but then, no marriage is 100 percent easy. And for sure we go through our ups and downs and different things that life throws at us, but I’m so grateful. And it’s so nice to be able to live in a marriage where you know your husband’s 100% committed to you, and you don’t have to worry, of course, there are beautiful people all over the world. And, we’re always gonna see beautiful people and have friends and whatever, but I appreciate the values of purity beforehand, but then also in marriage, where you’re really just committed to each other. Yeah.

Carina Cunningham 

So you really get to experience purity in a relationship now in a marriage relationship, when you think you are committed to your spouse, and you’re, you trust each other on each other’s decision of purity. Is that right?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yes, I think so. Because I remember, just in the world, it’s honestly, it’s so common now. And I understand there are different situations, and sometimes divorce, for example, is necessary, but it’s so common now to have lots of stepfamilies, or for people to cheat on each other, or things like that. And so it’s just a blessing to know that the foundation we laid in our lives, though, of course, we might face challenges, sometimes there’s something where I think, it really helps us laid a good foundation, also for our marriage, and that we can be there for each other and be open and honest and communicate. And you have this person at the end of the day to just share life with. And you don’t get bored. Someone asked that once. Don’t you get bored after time? After all these years. Do you ever get bored of each other? And honestly, no. And it’s very surprising how many of you still learn new things about each other all the time. And honestly, as far as purity, so you, obviously in marriage, you have sex, you don’t have to be pure in that sense. Or you’re not waiting anymore, you get and you don’t get bored because the more you get to know each other, the more beautiful and awesome it gets, honestly. So it’s exciting and evolving.

Carina 

So nice. So nice. Now you have two children? I think eight and six. Am I right?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

You’re close. Yeah, nine and six.

Carina 

Yeah. And you are in this position with the School of Love of helping parents to teach their kids about purity? What are some things you have to say about how to encourage purity in our children or kids?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yeah, so it’s 100% value that we both want to pass on to our kids the value of purity in saving sex or marriage. Because of how much I appreciate it, and how much of a difference it made in my own life. And, to our kids, I would say, there were good things about how we grew up. And unfortunately, some things maybe weren’t the best in the way purity used to be taught. But for us, we try to focus on it, it used to be a lot on, don’t do this, don’t touch, don’t look, don’t do this. Whereas we focus on what you should do, more the principles of creation, God’s intention for your life. So we focus a lot on God having this beautiful plan and this amazing husband or wife, and your future and it’s going to be so awesome and great. And so what should you do in the meantime, versus what you shouldn’t do? So focusing more on developing yourself and your hobbies. And we, I guess, we also talk about it naturally and often and chatter really promotes this, like a vision or dream for them to look forward to. I think that was one other thing that kept me going. I was always able to, during my youth, have a vision of imagining myself being in a happy, blissful future marriage with my spouse. So I think it’s still helping and still ends that excitement towards their future marriage and then also as parents trying our best to model a good marriage. For our own kids, I know for my husband, that was something that really got him through life. He faced a lot of challenges in high school but for him, he said he wanted to save himself because of how happy his parents were together, and how in love they were. And he said, I wanted that, so I think his parents’ modeling is a big thing, and not modeling fakely but modeling for real. So if you do have issues working through them, and you’re really trying to create the best marriage. You can and if you’re not happy, then figure it out, try talking about it, and try to also just sometimes the longer you’re married, and you’re busy working, you have kids, you don’t have time for date nights are things. So, getting creative and trying to make time is important. But yeah, definitely modeling it and being sure of what you know. True love can be one day you’re talking openly, it is something that we really want to pursue and do or we do with our own kids and really helping them not see sex as something shameful and sinful and bad but as something beautiful, amazing gift that God has in store for you. That’s going to be so cool one day and at the right time, it’s kind of like a treasure that you wait for and so that’s the angle we approach it with, also in the School of Love as well. As I said, we call it pro-sex purity, or pro-sex absence education because we promote sex as you are meant to have it with a future spouse, and it’s beautiful and awesome. It’s just waiting, waiting for it.

Carina Cunningham 

Yeah, I think that is really, really important because many people focus on oh, I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be doing that. And it is so great to change the perspective of how you teach it, not just about, oh, that’s wrong. But what can that cost you? And what are the other possibilities? And how wonderful is the positive aspect of it, and how to see sexuality as something natural and beautiful for it comes from God, but it needs to be direct, to the right motivation and progress to experience it to the maximum.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

You put it very well, and of course, you still try to instill in your children, of course, you try to instill boundaries, or of course, in a sense, right and wrong. And you help your kids create that conscience themselves, and you’re there for them and you love them, you’re there to talk to. And one big thing I’ve noticed as parents is how we react to what our kids tell us. Because if they make a mistake, and you’re like, ah, or just angry or upset or right away, then they’ll be scared to come to you when they make other mistakes. Or they go through some experience that they don’t know how they feel about or they’re ashamed of. So that’s one thing I think from early on with kids, we should keep working on our reactions, where it’s really focused on listening, and always loving first, and then taking a breath. If you’re not in a good place to react at the moment, maybe come back and talk about it the next day or together, but I think that’s important because you always want your kids to feel that you’re a safe space they can come to, so take those opportunities. I know. One time, my son accidentally swallowed a magnet. It was scary, but he was fine in the end. But there, he was four or five, like a little older, and when I took the chance to talk to him, he felt horrible. He felt so scared and bad like he did a bad thing because it’s scary and my husband wasn’t home, actually and my husband took the chance to sit with a consultant and say, Tom, it’s okay, it happens. And he just took the time to talk about mistakes, his own mistakes he might have made as a kid or growing up so getting down to our kids level reminds ourselves what it was like when we were kids or teenagers and having that open, and honest relationship with them and being there. Of course, this could be a whole other interview on how to instill purity values of purity in our kids. But I think, yeah, that’s a good, good start.

Carina Cunningham 

Wow, I love that example. I will freak out. But it’s so great to see him that way even in small things. I never saw it that way and it’s like whoa, yeah even small things that can create a foundation of trust for kids to come to you again. I think you mean. Yeah.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Thanks for having me.

Carina Cunningham 

Sorry, go ahead. So that’s why I said, but Leena What? I don’t know how to close, what are some of the scopes of resources that people can use to install this purity on? Oh, not installed, but encouraged hearing their kids?

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Oh, for sure. Yeah. So it’s been in the works for a couple of years. Now. We’ve had great writers, and they’re awesome people. And I’m really proud of our work and our team. You can find most of it online at schooloflove.work. And when you click on the curriculum tab, there are a bunch of lessons and they’re divided into themes. And we have different age groups, we have the sprouts group, which is ages two to six kids, which is more elementary 6 to 11. And then we have the youth and the teens. You can really search and tailor based on the age or stage of your child, or you can do it based on themes. We have 12 different themes. And it’s categorized in that way. And in each lesson, the teen ones are a little different because they’re older, but with the kids, it’s very interactive. And well both of them are interactive, but there’s so much content in each lesson that honestly you could make it a family night and do it regularly. Or you can even take one lesson and spread it out throughout one month. And do you know one day do the reading together one day, do the questions then one day, watch a video, another day do a craft. It’s really there to support the parents for them to use that. However, it works best for you. There’s no right or wrong way. And right now it’s all digital. We’ve also been doing webinars on our Facebook page, you can find School of Love on Facebook. And we’re currently developing a parenting course which will be coming out soon. Six-week parent Course. So that’s exciting. And we’re also in the works actually bringing our curriculum to print, and this year’s goal. So it’s in the process right now being designed, and we are super excited because as much as I’m super digital, and always, on digital platforms, and I love the accessibility of having the content right on my phone with my kids. At the same time, it is nice sometimes to just have a book on your shelf to pull off and read with your kids, sit down, and go through it. And there’s gonna be a separate activity workbook for the kids as well. We’re excited that that’ll be coming out soon.

Carina Cunningham 

I’m so looking forward to seeing that, and I’m so happy. Thanks for the merit of the era that I’m gonna have the resources to use with my kids.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Yeah, it’s been so helpful for our own family, our own kids.

Carina Cunningham 

For sure, I think this kind of effort in curriculums are going to change history. So thank you so much for doing all that. I think that will be amazing.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

We’re super excited to see it come to life in print.

Carina Cunningham 

Thank you so much, Leena, for your time for being honest and sharing your story. I learned so many things about it, and I hope everyone who’s listening here, has learned something about it. If there’s anything that you were touched by, please contact us and we’ll ask for your feedback, your comments and that help us always keep going and research for the resources of the School of Love or join a mums group soon at dads group. If you’re interested in creating a dance group, we can do it as well. So, thank you everyone for listening to this other episode of the podcast.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Thanks for having me, Carina, I appreciate it and all you do and just want to encourage anyone out there if you’re still waiting for your someone special, don’t give up. They’re out there. They’re worth waiting for. You’re worth waiting for. And God has a great plan for your life. So, thanks for having me.

Carina Cunningham 

That’s true. Thank you, everyone. Bye, bye.

Leena Vincenz-Gavin 

Bye.

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