Ep. 30 - Podcast Thumbnail

#30 – Bring Your Wives to the Podcast Day

Comment below what you gained from this episode.

Ep. 40 - Podcast Thumbnail

Andrew and Sammy invite their wives, Uyanga Love and Yi Gyu Uyama, to share and answer questions about each other’s couplehood. We get to hear how their relationships and love have grown (and struggled) over time, shaping them into priceless modes of reality they now share as a family.

  • The importance of their parents’ guidance as they were growing up
  • Advice about arguing well as a couple
  • Managing different cultural norms
  • Sharing on their research about fatherly involvement
  • Get a midwife/doctor who is good at stitching!
  • Exuding trust & enthusiasm, being goal-oriented, and integrity while being family-oriented.
  • Call to action: Take the challenge with High Noon programs @ highnoon.org

Episode Transcript:

Andrew Love: Welcome back to the podcast everybody! We have a special, super special secret sauce episode, which is going to transform the way you view Sammy and me because we’re unveiling our, secret to our success which is our wives.

Sammy Uyama: Tada!

Andrew Love: Sammy, do you want to introduce your wife and then I’ll introduce my wife and then they will feel introduced?

Sammy Uyama: Actually, my wife, her biggest gripe whenever we do talks together is, when we’re doing the introduction, I’ll just talk and I never give her a chance to say anything she says.

Andrew Love: Okay.

Sammy Uyama: Introduce yourself.

Yi Gyu Uyama: This bad timing, you asked me to introduce myself. Hi, I’m Yi Gyu Uyama, Sammy’s wife and I’m nine months pregnant.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Tada!

Sammy Uyama: Seven months.  Eight months. Nine months.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Seven months? Eight months? I don’t know. Thirty-three weeks now.

Sammy Uyama: Nine months means you’re about to have the baby.

Yi Gyu Uyama: I see. So 33 weeks.

Sammy Uyama: Alright, so a summary of Yi Gyu, her entire identity. She’s my wife, and she’s 33 weeks pregnant.

Andrew Love: It’s funny because you said you’re nine months pregnant. But, before we started recording you said that you still have a month and a half left. So, I thought that like in Korea, you, when you’re born, you’re one year old. I thought somehow nine months old means eight months old, but now I get it.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Oh.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, it’s weird that they count the preg- the pregnancy terms. Where two…

Andrew Love: Really?

Sammy Uyama: Ten months. You’re pregnant for 10 months.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah. Somehow the math works out.

Andrew Love: Okay. I’m just gonna say okay, and I’m just gonna assume that, that makes sense to you guys.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah. Anyway, so when she says, so when she says nine months pregnant, Koreans would understand that she has about a month left.

Andrew Love: Okay. Do you want to introduce yourself honey?

Uyanga Love: No, you do.

Andrew Love: Oh!

Sammy Uyama: Oooh.

Andrew Love: So, my wife is, on her passport she still has her maiden name. Long confusing, but on everywhere else she’s Uyanga Love. And so Love is about one fifth the length of her original maiden name, which is Khuukhnee, spelt K-H-U-U-K-H-N-E-E. And she is now a Love and she’s from Mongolia. And she sometimes pretends she’s shy, like she’s doing now, when she starts speaking about God or something she really cares about; She just starts to fly and go into another orbit and she gets possessed and she’s like, really get strong and really powerful and it’s an amazing thing to see. So, welcome Uyanga.

Uyanga Love: Thank you.

Andrew Love: I can really resonate with what you just shared about, you know, when you have something you’re really passionate about, Yi Gyu likewise, she’ll pretend to be shy, but for her, the way Uyanga’s passionate about God, I’d say Yi Gyu talks that way about a tiramisu and…

Yi Gyu Uyama: And food.

Sammy Uyama: And food.

Andrew Love: Food creature, I like it. No, but that’s not true because I remember, when we were in Jeju Island, and you hosted the entire day Yi Gyu, translating the entire day, you turned everything into this fun talk show and I had no idea what you’re talking about because this is in Korean. Everybody, I was looking at everybody’s faces and they, they were like the studio audience in a talk show and they were they’re so excited to hear whatever the hell you’re talking about. And you made it so much fun, you, I like, normally we’re just boring and then, but you will think really fun when you speak in front of people. I’m really impressed and you did the same thing during the 24 hours Summit. It looked like so much fun. I just wish I could speak Korean just to hear what you guys were talking about.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah, it was really fun.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, yeah. She’s a great, a great host. She’ll be a great talk show host for sure.

Andrew Love: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: So, I guess more thing about Yi Gyu is that she’s Korean. Did you say that?

Yi Gyu Uyama: No, I did not.

Sammy Uyama: She’s from Korea. And has four siblings. She’s one of 5.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Third one.

Andrew Love: Got it. And Uyanga has three siblings, a brother and two sisters. She’s the eldest. And I’m the youngest. So that is (crosstalk)

Sammy Uyama: She’s the middle child. And so, we were blessed in 2009. And then we lived in America, four, five. So we’re a coup- two years, I’d say we were separate in college. And then we spent five years living in America and the past three and a half years we’ve been living together here in Korea.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Wow!

Andrew Love: And I only have one sibling. So it’s… but my sibling is a woman and she’s got red hair. So, she’s like the equivalent of three siblings because she’s very strong-willed. And Uyanga and I were blessed at True Father’s last blessing in 2012. And we lived in New Jersey, California…

Uyanga Love: D.C.

Andrew Love: D.C., like Maryland area and Denver, technically, and then the rest of the world.

Sammy Uyama: Cool.

Andrew Love: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: Well, great to meet you Uyanga.

Uyanga Love: Yeah. Nice to meet you, guys.

Andrew Love: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah. It’s, it’s nice to see you again. I mean, we, last time we saw you Uyanga was in Korea when your whole family was here in the fall. And it seems like, so long ago and like it just happened at the same time.

Andrew Love: Yeah, but we’ve never gotten to really, really hang out because we’re, there’s always some sort of child doing something while we’re trying to speak so, we don’t really know each other. So as a foursome, but we saw just in context…(crosstalk)

Sammy Uyama: Wait! That’s the only way we would ever like to know each other.

Andrew Love: This, this podcast episode was actually requested by somebody, because they wanted to meet Sammy and my wife. And so what we did was in the vain of High Noon, instead of having a nice casual conversation just about the weather, and pregnancy, or whatever, we wanted to talk about real stuff. So the homework was to come up with three questions each. I guess we could just take turns asking one question at a time where we can get to know the other couple and everybody listening can get to know us, but also that we can show you what High Noon looks like as a couple because although most of you know us in the context of being on a stage and talking about, you know, being honest and open, we wanted to do that as a couple that, you know, we don’t, I don’t think we have anything to hide from this world. We have nothing to be ashamed about. So, we just want to ask each other questions that we’re interested in to hear the real answer about, who you are? Who you are as a couple? How do you want to go? Do you want to go first? Or do you want us to roshambo? Or what do you want to do?

Sammy Uyama: Whatever that, roshambo, that sounds fancy we can do that one.

Andrew Love: It’s just rock, paper, scissors.

Sammy Uyama: French? Right? Because everything sounds fancy.

Andrew Love: I have no idea why people say roshambo but it just means rock, paper, scissors.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, I play it back and forth. I think, I think it’s good. And the main thing is just opportunity to… Yeah, I love what you said as couples, show how we relate with one another, how we relate to each other. Rather than just being these two smelly dudes in front of microphones.

Andrew Love: Well, by the way, just for context, we are, we can see each other because we’re on video while we’re recording this and I was really wondering if Sammy’s going to step up and dress up nicely and he’s, he not, he did not. True love exists. They love each other. They don’t need to impress each other with things like shirts that have, you know, sleeves or anything like that

Sammy Uyama: Right or, yep, yep. Yi Gyu’s just wonderfully and she prepared very well for this interview. With her make-up on. You can trust me. She looks lovely everybody.

Andrew Love: So, why don’t you guys ask the first question, or do you want us to ask you the first question, I’m gonna put it, I’m gonna put the ball in your courtside.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, I like, this is one Yi Gyu thought of, that I’d be curious to hear. Good, it’s like a deep and good segue not too difficult one also at the same time. So, it’s about your family. You two, married, blessed. You’ve raised, you’re raising three boys. And you’ve put a lot of thought and intention in how you want to raise your, raise your children and what kind of family you want to have. And so, what are you most proud of, the family culture that you have?

Andrew Love: What are you most proud of the family culture, I’m assuming that the audience wants to hear more from her because they always hear from me. So, in terms of our family culture, what are you most proud of?

Uyanga Love: Yeah. For me is… I grow up in Asia, in Mongolia. And then growing up I see around the family, relatives, people basically… Mother is the job for the children. And then fathers they make money, go out. And then father will always come in the evening just like, basically hi to the children. Definitely they know their children’s name and sometimes they don’t know the na-, the age, how old they are children like, they don’t know, (crosstalk) like, how old they are, the which grade they are, like you know, something that… but and then, for me now is, really proud of especially, Eastern and Western culture come together. I can really proud of my husband, together with the boys really like Martin Lee. He is take responsibility for them really long and really like play together. I think that when they grow up, they will be like, you know, my father, like, great memory putting in there at the heart and the brain. And that is when I see that thing is like, “Wow, this is amazing.” I even didn’t ask and then that Andrew’s heart is like really for there. And then when they grow up, they really care for their family and children. I really believe that takes care for the woman, you know, and that’s my…

Andrew Love: So, I think that was kind of I might be one of those guys that just ends up working a lot. But then she was really struggling to adapt to the American way of life. The Western way of life and she just wasn’t able to really take care of the kid so much early on. So I just picked up the slack. But then it ended up being a blessing, you know, in disguise; as it was kind of painful at the time because I was already working so hard, but then somebody had to take care of the kids, right? So, I just stepped up. But then I, you know, and especially in the past year or so, I’ve realized that anybody that I’ve ever read, you know, psychologists, motivational speakers, whatever, they are really so clear about the first seven years of a child’s life is what deeply programs their expectations, for friendship, for love, for relations, for everything for money, for everything. So, to be fully present in your kid’s life, especially in the first seven years, helps to basically set the trajectory for the rest of their life in terms of like their subconscious wiring and all that. So, I want to be there with them, especially like I’m not gonna just stop after seven years, but especially in the first seven years to make sure that those kids know that they are loved, but also to challenge them and to be there when they make mistakes, to comfort them, because if they have any trauma, I really feel like you can resolve it in a short period of time if you’re there. And if you’re not there, that trauma can last a lifetime, right? So, yeah, that’s our culture is just really being hands on and being there for each other. Instead of just kind of clocking it in, like, every day, I kind of feel like was today good enough? And how can I do to tomorrow better, you know, so we are very intentional, like culture of intentionality. I think.

Sammy Uyama: That’s it. That’s, that’s really crazy that, there’s a lot of families out there that the dad doesn’t know how old their kids are. Even…

Andrew Love: Yeah, yeah.

Sammy Uyama: That’s a, that’s a kinda concept breaker for me. Yeah, thank you. It’s nice, it’s really great to hear.

Andrew Love: Yeah, thank you for asking. Great question. Great question, guys, you guys thought about.

Sammy Uyama: Put a lot of thought into that.

Andrew Love: So, I have one that kind of goes in an opposite direction but it’s we’re gonna start with this. I’d love to hear what is, what is a constant point of tension like, a fight that happens a lot, that comes up a lot, like a, for a lot of people it could be money, like definitely that happened in my family or I don’t know food, it could be sleeping. I don’t know. But what’s, what’s something that you find yourselves repeatedly, it’s like this unresolved point of tension in your marriage?

Sammy Uyama: Go ahead.

Yi Gyu Uyama: I think, for money. Yeah, money. Money happen a lot. Whenever. No?

Sammy Uyama: Did I say…

Yi Gyu Uyama: Or the level of faith. How you want to practice your faith, like for example, I, I really want to go to church every week, weekend and do a lot of stuff like, going, being a choir or helping cooking or cleaning or… And Sammy, doesn’t think…

Sammy Uyama: You’re right. Yeah, except with that, with that point the, how we express our faith that’s, that’s something that comes up a lot. So…

Yi Gyu Uyama: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also like, if I want to do Hoon Dok Hae, I want to read Hoon Dok Hae for one hour like, reading it, reading it, reading it and finding out something inspire me for the day but Sammy wants to do like one pages. But now we figured that doing together is more valuable. So, we were doing Hoon Dok Hae, like, doing the greeting and reading the two parents speeches for 10 minutes and discussing together and I really love it, the way we all figured out how to do together. And yeah, how to practice the, our faith is really different to each other. So, yeah, that’s, that’s, I think we solve that problem already.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, that’s pretty…

Andrew Love: How?  How did you do that? That sounds like a difficult thing to solve. How did you solve it?

Yi Gyu Uyama: So, like going to Sunday service…

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, let me, let me tie back to because we didn’t resolve, answer that part you just said talk about Sunday service. So, the point about Sunday service, so, and back ultimately, is about how we express our faiths. And we didn’t know that at first. One thing that helped us identify that was we did a, we went to a, the energize retreat. And we did, John Williams is a, was offering free counseling sessions. So we’re like, “Hey, let’s,” we, you know, we didn’t feel like, we weren’t sure exactly what we talked about, but this is a nice opportunity. So, okay, let’s, let’s just do it. Because you know, it’s free. And that was the thing we identify to talk about is like, okay, ben-, so Yi Gyu, she felt obligated or not, she wanted to go to church, and I really didn’t want to go to church every week. We both were clear on, faith was still there. We both, we’re very strong in our faith. Where this is point of physically going to church versus not going to church.

Andrew Love: Sure.

Sammy Uyama: And we felt very strong, both strongly about our opinions on it. And we are both expressed them and we both understood the point of the other. We just didn’t agree with each others points. So for me, it would refer, for me the purpose of church, if it’s supposed to be like, spiritually nourishing, and if it’s not, then there’s no nee-, if it doesn’t fulfill its purpose, and there’s no point to go. It’s like that or community, you know? And so we’re living here in Korea, and I, and I think churches in Korea, Korean church services are by far the most boring church services ever. And so, it wasn’t spiritually nourishing and you know, we don’t really not know a whole lot of people, which of course would change if you went more often, I guess, right? But they’re always doing that, so it’s like okay, let’s just, you know, we can have our own Hoon Dok Hae Family Church, that’s something that you father talked about a lot. And we can like invite friends over and do something. Or we could just do, watch something online together and talk about it. And that was my thinking, and Yi Gyu’s thinking, and I’ll paraphrase you can emphasize, if I miss something, was more just if she agreed with all the things, all the criticisms I had about church service being boring, she’s like, I agree with everything you said it’s boring, and I don’t really like to go either. But for her attitude was, you should be a part of it. And if you want to try to make it better, rather than just not and then just cut off from it. Which I understand, I totally got, that makes a lot of sense. Like having that ownership. And she wanted to know, then I just didn’t want really feel so inclined to do that, right? Invest the time to do that. So, we just kept arguing about that once in a while. They’re like, we go months at a time where it wasn’t relevant because we weren’t, we’re not available to go to church, we’re traveling or something. And then they’ll just be like, some finally, for free one Sunday. So Saturday night, I go, “Should we go to church tomorrow?” And then we have this like, you know, we’d like butt heads about it. And so having this counseling session helped us actually identify the problem wasn’t, it was just like, how there’s these ways that we express our faith of different for each person and understanding more, what was important for each other spiritually. that’s helped a lot. I’d say to answer your follow-up question like, what, how did we end up resolving it? And what else do you think?

Yi Gyu Uyama: On complete different topic?

Sammy Uyama: No, no, like, what helped us work that out. And they become not an issue anymore.

Andrew Love: Well, in the in the counseling like, did you just agree to, to more go to her side and support her because she wanted to go to church? Or did you just agree to disagree? And she goes to church and you stay home or like, how did you? What was the conclusion that you came to?

Sammy Uyama: Essentially, we’ve actually, now that you mentioned that, nothing we’ve ever done, we’ve considered “Oh, you do your thing. I’ll do my thing.” Always, it was, everything is always like we want to do together. Yeah. So it was like…

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah, I don’t want you to go by myself. The point to going to churches is it’s making a family culture and show other people that wow, this person nice family, young couples coming to church with their kid, and I won’t need to show them or so, like more than just getting the inspiration or spiritual experience at the church, I want to show them all, like nice families being at the church because it’s, you cannot see these days the young couple with the kid coming to church. So, I want it to be kind of normal there for other people too. And giving them hope.  Yeah, wow! Well basically when it comes to church, I’m a, I’m a taker.

Andrew Love: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: I just want to get some fun. Yi Gyu wants is a giver. But no, but, so like you just said, it hasn’t, it’s not really a problem for us anymore.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: So why? And then why do you think that is?

Yi Gyu Uyama: Because we decided, I like to listen lectures, so I just sit down and Sammy can take care baby.

Sammy Uyama: That was our compromise.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: So the moral the story is, if you’re struggling, having a baby will fix all your problems. It’s not a myth.

Andrew Love: Yeah, that makes sense, because I mean, that’s, I have never seen a church that has figured out what to do when you have babies. It’s like they don’t factor that in. Because babies just destroyed church service. Right? So then, you have to go somewhere else so then, clearly one of the people cannot attend. And they haven’t ever… Sometimes some churches have another room that looks more like, like an insane asylum, like with kids on the ground, licking the floor and like parents just looking stressed out. And it just smells terrible. It’s not something enjoyable. So, that’s good for Sammy, because Sammy then can just spend quality time with Luna, right? Or with the baby, right?

Sammy Uyama: Yeah.

Andrew Love: That’s a that’s a win-win. That’s cool. That’s a very good idea.

Sammy Uyama: And do that at church. I mean, it helps right now. Right? We’re at, we’re living in the church.

Andrew Love: Yeah. You have no excuse not to go to service, by the way.

Sammy Uyama: Right. So we’re, we’re in, we normally live in Seoul and we’re visiting my parents-in-laws. Yi Gyu’s parents for a couple months and they’re pastors and then so they have like an apartment in the church building. Right, so it helps a lot and that works here. A lot of weeks that issue it’s, it like comes and goes because it’s not relevant for a lot of times because a lot of Sundays you know, we’re traveling and we’re doing, we do a lot of lectures and things and they usually on the weekend right. So, that was, it was money? You, that, that surprised me.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Money?

Sammy Uyama: Yeah. You were saying about money.

Andrew Love: Uh-oh, Jerry Springer.

Sammy Uyama: I thought that we were really good in that area.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah, I think our the problem we kind of solve the posterior is tension. Like, you don’t agree in your heart deep, deep in your heart. My spending habit.

Sammy Uyama: Right, right.

Yi Gyu Uyama: So, like you have a little bit of tension and also I have a tension that, “Oh, Sammy doesn’t trust me.”

Sammy Uyama: Yeah.

Yi Gyu Uyama: We solve the problem, like Sammy made by poker money. So, like one month, how much I can spend and then he doesn’t know, what, how, how I spend. That’s what I asked for him because I don’t wanna let him know how I spend money.

Andrew Love: Can we call that your tiramisu fund?

Yi Gyu Uyama: What?

Sammy Uyama: The tiramisu?

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah, my tiramisu fund.

Sammy Uyama: Well, I remember I want to put some context here. So, we budget we always, some of them beginning we always talked about money together and we’d create like a budget every month and we have an agreement and how to manage your money. This is not like I’m this money, overlord and then I, I bestow a certain amount of money on to my wife every month.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: Right? And…

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah, I love the budgeting.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, yeah. We always talk about it. And that was something she wanted.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: It was, I want this discretionary money.

Yi Gyu Uyama: But if he,  like he always talking about me to spend, like wasting money but actually we check the all-year round how much we spend each other. And Sammy is the one who spent like 10 times more and then I don’t spend any money. Yeah, actually I spend a lot of money for the snacks and like delicious food and but in the end Michelle told us, was it?

Sammy Uyama: Right yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Spent… what’s the word?

Sammy Uyama: Spendings.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Spendings is like whole lot. Sammy is more a spender than I and then he always looking at me like a you’re a waste.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, I think the, this whole of the money, the crux of this money tension is I’m just really anal and need to loosen up a little bit just like, she’ll come home with a chocolate milk and then 60 cents, right? I actually, but and it’s and then for me, I I ended up buying a new monitor or you know $300 headphones, you know this is stuff that I save up for. I guess for me it’s a intentionality with money, so it’s like things that I think about what I want to get and I get it and then when I, Yi Gyu is more, impulsive sounds bad but you know, just more just in the moment, it’s especially just thinking about food, right? Just like it’s, it’s enjoyable because you get it when you want it. You don’t, you don’t plan for when you want to have chocolate milk, right? So and that’s how she likes, what makes the way spending money makes her happy.

Yi Gyu Uyama: It was like buy some food for like, friend or sister or just generous to be spending and Sammy.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, Korean culture. It’s a really big deal. A big thing that you take care of your youngers and which, you mean, treat them out to meals and stuff. It’s like a huge show of love and so she likes to be able to do that. And which I agree with. I mean, for me, that was the thing that we had to balance was, I want to plan how we spent all, I’m okay spending money in whatever, I would just like it to be accounted for like okay, that we decide we’re going to spend money in that. Where as Yi Gyu never budgeted. And I grew up that doing that and Yi Gyu never grew up making a budget or really thinking about money and figuring out how to balance this point.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah and I’m really grateful Sammy is really intentional about the money.

Andrew Love: Good job, Sammy.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, I’m really grateful Yi Gyu, likse this generous, nice, take care of people. And also not just that, but enjoy, she enjoys stuff now. Whereas I would put all of my happiness in the future if it came to money, but, if it’s just up to me, and in hindsight, I’ll add this too, just want to plug for, I’m really grateful for Yi Gyu how, she, I mean, when she’s talking about she spends money, it’s like 60 cents, or $1 at a time, it’s really little things. It’s all, she’s very low maintenance. Otherwise she doesn’t buy lots of expensive clothes.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Same t-shirt. You see?

Andrew Love: I remember, it’s famous, the whole world has seen that shirt.

Sammy Uyama: I guess that same food would be or not food, but health would be like another area.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah. Yes, yes.

Sammy Uyama: That same point of like, I want to be intentional with what we eat and healthy, the idea of being healthy. And it’s okay to enjoy the foods but just it’s more account- It’s not just because I feel like it, but I just, I, what am I committed to, diet-wise and health-wise and I still stick to that and so then in Yi Gyu, foods are really a form of joy. Right? And so I guess that for me, food is a form of energy. And then for Yi Gyu food is a form of happiness, all right? So tastes really matters. Whereas me I’m not really so picky and like that, like everything, I guess all these the common point is the, this two different philosophies or mindsets around the topic and then how to incorporate both of them.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah.

Andrew Love: Got it.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah. Anything you want to add?

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah. More unto tension between money and the food is are almost the same route, right?

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, it’s like long term versus short term.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah. And I’m short term.

Andrew Love: Thank you.

Sammy Uyama: I’m, what are, what are you guys at? That’s actually a really interesting question. So, I have, we’ve others but I want to throw that back to you.

Andrew Love: Money is de- definitely been there for us, for sure. Coz she grew up in a country where there was no money. There is no money. There’s that, no money. So, obviously, that impacts you. And so, oh my god, yeah. A lot of tension because just the idea that I would ask her to also be a little bit more intentional, just so that we could plan a little bit better. And she felt like that was so repressive and I was like, “No, it’s just thinking about the future,” and she’s like, “You never do, no money, I can, you know…” “No, I’m just asking you like how much the thing is, how, can we plan for it? Do we need it right this second” and like, “Oh, fine, fine, I don’t need anything. I’ll just live in a box.” I’m like, “No, no.” Just like this really like, deep reaction to not like, like not having the thing right away when I’m just asking, like, “Can we just talk about it?” And the thing you know, like, a lot of tension like crazy. But we’re getting, we’re getting better, I think. Definitely, when we travel because just things change when it’s like, when we’re in America, you know, everything’s so much more expensive, you have to really, things get a lot more intense in terms of money. So we’re a lot more…We fight a lot less when we travel just because there’s more wiggle room and we can save more and we can enjoy. We have it all. We can have it all. We can live the life of our dreams. You know, I think, I think the same thing. Even like, she’s like the idea of having discretionary money. I’m totally like, however much you want, I’ll give it to you just put a number on a piece of paper, and she can’t do it. She refuses. She’s like, “I don’t need anything. Fine”. I’m like, “No, I’m just asking for like, I just need a number.” You know, we’ll make it work. So I feel like I would do anything if she could just express it in words but she doesn’t, she just like is a pure heart like, “No, this Ferrari. I need it now.”

Uyanga Love: Yeah, yeah. I’m so grateful for Andrew like growing up, like without planning and things like that. And then he asking me and then I was like, it’s really like mental like you know, repeat thinking or like we don’t have anything or we don’t have it. Why cannot do that? Just I’m thinking like that. And then I struggle with a lot. And then now we are, from now I can see a look back and then I’m like, “Wow, this was like, that’s not true.” Like we don’t have anything we have everything. Because my mindset is like, I don’t have anything, we cannot do anything. When I have money. I will do these things. And then, for now, I see that was totally wrong. Because I’m so grateful like, you know, like, especially the situation. Now we are living there like, life. It’s really like a dream. And everything is possible. That’s only just like for your thinking, mindset. Once you change like that, like God chose me, this is the things everything.

Andrew Love: Yeah, I gotta say, coz that one into like even our sex life, because she’d be so stressed out because we don’t have this or that. And then she’s like when we’re rich, then we can have more sex or something like this and I was like, “Oh my God, this sucks.” So, is it like everything I had was depending on us becoming multimillionaires, like then she could have massages. She have more massages because they go to spas more and then she could be more relaxed. To be nicer to me or whatever. And we just had to kind of it took a while, like seven years almost to kind of dispel that concept that we have to hold off on enjoyment in order to have enjoyment, like we can only enjoy once we have everything lined up. And it’s like, that’s the opposite. It’s like, “No, you start enjoying stuff now. And then you have everything automatically.” And that was really like that. We got into so many fights because it was just like, I just felt automatically well, “Crap! How can I make a million dollars so that I can you know, snuggle with my wife more? What do I need to sell my organs? What, what can I do right now?”

Sammy Uyama: Wow, yeah, it’s, and I think that’s really valuable. Because that’s the case for not just the exact situation, but every couple will have two different ways of growing up around something and then how to figure out your own way of how you want to approach the topic.

Uyanga Love: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: Beacause actually what, when you’re talking about Uyanga and not coming up with any money, which is crazy to imagine a country that you know, what would you…

Andrew Love: They have ration cards so to get food you get, you know, a bread ration ticket, you have to wait in line two hours to get bread or whatever.

Sammy Uyama: Yi Gyu, coz Yi Gyu also didn’t really grow up managing money at all. Their household, they would get, you know, once they get money from the grandparents or anything like that. It always just go to the parents. And that was just assumed that any money they got their parents, they gave to their parents and they, if ever they needed something growing up, then their parents got it for them. They would talk about it like, “Hey, you know, I need a new phone. I need a phone bah, bah, bah.” And then the parents would just get them what they need.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah, we’re still, when we go first to a part-time job, we just give all the money to parents.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah. Which for me, just like, made my jaw drop when I heard about that because it, it’s like, mind-boggling.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Later on, I realized that “Oh, even though I give them this money, this will disappear.” So I decided to keep it in mind.

Sammy Uyama: You weren’t, because you’re giving, giving it to them. It’s really like a filial piety kind of thing.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sammy Uyama: It’s like, “Hey, my parents raised me and they spent so much money on me. They fed me. And so yeah, I’m working some kind of, wanting to pay my parents back.”

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, this very non-American way of treating your parents and money.

Andrew Love: Really cool. If it works. You guys are up next, by the way, you guys have next, next question.

Sammy Uyama: Yup. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for that.

Andrew Love: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: So actually, I was deciding which order but you mentioned sex. I was curious to hear from Uyanga. So, I talked to Andrew about this all the time. So, what do you think it takes? What do you think is important in order to have a great sex life?

Uyanga Love: Yeah, I think, it’s just starting from inside me, inside each person and it’s really like, you first, looks solve of your heart like, if there’s a problem, you solve your problem in the heart and mind and then that’s become free and then have their critics and then if your heart and mind is like, you know the problem tangled there and then like, you can’t do it and then yeah, when since we can together, we go in through up and down specially now we are eight year, we between this 8-year we have three boy and then it’s a lot of work and I just feel like so tired. I’m tired, I’m tired like that. And then you know, and then when he talks about like yeah, like that, and then I just feel like, well, you don’t understand me, like, I’m tired, I want to sleep like, you know, like day, night I just feel like 24 hour like working so hard and tired. And then now this point is we really can and I feel like our heart is like free, you know, and really like focus on each other, really, like love each other like how like, digging inside, like from the heart to mind. And then like, and then comes with the physically and then otherwise, like the other side, like starting from the physical. We try to solve that problem is like, it would be I think never. And then now, I’m so happy and really happy. Like, what? Since we came together what he done for me, it’s really like love, giving me time. Like, really understanding me, really embraced me. And then that’s fears I really like loud and then I become free. And then to hug you. 

Andrew Love: It took a long time to get her to open up, like, really trust me and all that. And then the moment that kind of internal trust was there, then the sex became fantastic. But up until then, it was like she could never really open up. She’s always preoccupied and so, she was, she was not enjoying it very much at all. Also, realistically, we have to mention, you know, after our second son, this is something that people don’t ever talk about. We’ve never heard about it before or since. After our second son. She was stitched up, we had a natural, she had a natural birth, and she was stitched up poorly. And so sex was actually painful for her, all the way up until she had our third son and then they repaired, they repaired it. And the, you know, the midwife, she’s, we had a home birth and the midwife was in my bed stitching up my wife and she’s like, “You know what I’m gonna do for you. I’m gonna do the greatest favor any, I’m gonna make your wife have the most beautiful vagina.” And she, she just really understood this point. And since then, my wife has had no discomfort and she could actually just relax physically. And like, again, who’s talking about this, nobody ever heard. And we didn’t even know she just was like, always in pain. She’s like, kind of like, we’re trying to, you know, get busy. And then she’s always just like, “Aw, aw, aw,” this kind of thing and it’s very distracting for both of us, right? Because I don’t want to inflict pain, but I would like to make love with my wife. But that, that only came about later. We only figured that out two years after the fact.

Yi Gyu Uyama: That’s really important.

Uyanga Love: Yeah, and then three boys like all of them natural birth and then all of them have the tear, tears.

Andrew Love: Tear. (crosstalk)

Uyanga Love: Tear. Tar. Yeah. And then I’ll just, yeah. And then last the midwife was amazing. I just grateful to her and then she was like intentional, really like, you know, if your daughter will be like that, how you really careful there. Do everything. She was like that. Yeah, we have no idea. That sounds like a great business to get into, vagina repair services.

Andrew Love: Oh, they do have superficial like vagina’s plastic surgery to make your vagina look as ordinary. But that’s ridiculous. This is, this is just purely like, you will, we didn’t realize this, you don’t know this because nobody talks about it but our second child in that, that midwife they actually had like an intern practicing, learning how to stitch people up on my wife and we didn’t know any better. If I had known that a little bit more, I would have been like, “Get away from her! Practice on a freaking, I don’t know, steak or something gets away from my wife”. Because we had no idea it caused a lot of like internal suffering because you know, we weren’t so aware. So, I hope that some people listening can understand that and it might apply to you and your situation because, you know, doctors aren’t always the best and, and you know, sometimes people screw up, so it’s good to know that, that can impact you.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, it’s good. Good for us. Right before having a baby, we know what to the lookout.

Andrew Love: Make sure to pay them, pay the doctor well and you know give them a tip and…

Sammy Uyama: What was that again? You’re, you’re vagina stitching certified.

Andrew Love: Do a good job, you got to pat him on the back, like do a good job alright?

Sammy Uyama  42:15

Thank you Uyanga, for, for sharing all that. It’s really, definitely not something you’d read on the cover of Cosmo. Just…

Andrew Love: No.

Sammy Uyama: The internal importance of the internal and feeling comfortable and safe and internally happy.

Andrew Love: Yeah. So I have a question for y’all. This is, so, here’s my reason for asking. And because a lot of times, what, people who date, you know, who are in the dating scene, they’ll find something really attractive about somebody when they first get together and the longer they stay together, it becomes really annoying, right? But in this heaven, heavenly culture, I think is the exact opposite. So I’d like to know, what was something that you thought was kind of annoying or you didn’t really fully appreciate about the other person when you first met, that you’ve grown to love, as a part of who they are. Like, what’s something about the other person that you didn’t fully understand or you kind of thought was not so nice and that now you really think, “Oh, that’s, I love that about them now.”

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, I got, I got one. This is a big for me this year, I really got a reason accepting the whole part of a person and I realized that the things I like about Yi Gyu, the kind of person that she is that allows you to be that way also has these quirks along with it. All right. And then I can’t just pick and choose what I like, but she has these things I like, because and because of who she is, and so also has these other qualities as well. And so I’ve got, I’ve learned once, once I recognize that, I, whenever they come up, I became really appreciative and they’re like a source of joy for me like, mine is, I get so, I, like turning off the lights. All right, it’s like, it’s such a simple thing. All right, let’s do it, when you leave the bathroom, turn off the lights, right? And it’s not even about the, so much about saving money. It’s like, if it’s the middle of the night, and it’s all dark, and you go into the bathroom, and you’re not ready for it, and the light is just on. And it just shocks you, you know, like that, that kind of thing. And just the, Yi Gyu leaves every, all the lights on, all the time. So it happens so much while going to the laundry room or the bathroom and all you have the lights on, right? And that used to annoy me and frustrate me so much. And, but it’s just part of I took on, I accepted that my responsibility. My role for the entirety of my life is I am the light turn offer. And that is just my identity as a husband, right? And then it just turned into something enjoyable, right? And whenever, whenever I see it, I’m like, “Yes, I’m going to fulfill my purpose for existence and I turn off the light.”

Andrew Love: Not all heroes wear capes, Sammy.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, but these things I love about Yi Gyu that she’s very, can roll, she rolls the things really well, adjustable, like with whatever changes happen then really adaptable, which I appreciate a lot. It helps for having exciting life. We get to travel a lot. And you know, there’s some kind of person, some kind of characters that truly difficult happenings changing all time, but Yi Gyu adapts really well. And part of that is just this kind of looseness that, that’s not, where’s me, I’m more like ritualized and rigid and I want to make the plan prior and then follow the plan. And then I’m like, “Yes, I did it.” Whereas Yi Gyu, you know what, adapts. So, that’s just how she lives her life. And that one of the quirks needed for that is that you just don’t remember to turn off all the lights. And also you don’t, you leave dishes in the living room or you don’t, you don’t keep the bathroom slippers neatly in front of the door, you kind of kick them off when you leave, and all those, all those little things or you leave you know, you, once you come home, you take off your coat and you just drop it on the floor. And I’m just passively-aggressively doing it all the different. These are all the things that have come up in our marriage that used to frustrate me, and I recognize is just part of what makes Yi Gyu amazing.

Andrew Love: I really want to hear from Yi Gyu now.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Sammy is not caring how people think about him. So, like when he goes to friend’s house, he’ll put up the refrigerator and eat whatever there and that made me really embarrassed.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Oh, but actually that sometimes I like it, because when he does that, for me, I really feel love and happy, like, asking water at the Starbucks, when I’m thirsty. And I’m hiding behind the door and then Sammy went in there and asked for water and then bring for me. I feel like, “Oh, he’s taking care of me.” And then when we do that, like traveling around the America, I was driving and Sammy went to fundraising to on money for our travelling fare, fare?

Sammy Uyama: Travelling expenses.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Travelling expenses. So, he went to the fundraising and he doesn’t care about fundraising. He really good at fundraising. So like, he do it, do it, do it,  people reject, he doesn’t care. And then I was hiding in the car and Sammy is only the money but yeah, at first I really don’t like it. Sammy doesn’t care how people think about him, and he does what he wants to do. That was annoying at first, but now, yeah, there’s some time when he does that for himself. That’s annoying for me. But when he does that for our family or for me, I like it. Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: So, still not fully appreciated?

Yi Gyu Uyama: Now, I know. Yeah, he does that because now I know, yeah. What, at first time he said that I cannot choose what I like. That’s Sammy. So, I need to love everything because he does that for our family too, not only for himself.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah. Thank you.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah.

Sammy Uyama: That’s just the way I am.

Uyanga Love: Okay, you guys now ask.

Sammy Uyama: So do you want to ask this?

Yi Gyu Uyama: You can ask.

Sammy Uyama: Okay? So for each other, what is the thing that you admire and respect most about one another? And also, what have you learned? What’s like you learned how to be or act a certain way from your spouse as well. So two kind of different questions.

Uyanga Love: I learned when we first came together after blessing, we started a family. And then that time I was like, really admire him like, was. I joined the church, when I was 19 years old, in 1999, before 2000. Then we came to, after how many year, we married, which is 13, year after.  Yeah, after 13 year we come together. And then this means our 13 year practicing one principle, that practice and one principle means basically for me is like learning. Learn to love, how you learn. They have to love other people really become you, the honor of the love and then and when he joined the church, like, just three years ago and then when we can do together one house one roof, and then I can see his love is so much bigger than my love and loving other people and then my heart is like, small there and I just like, “What? I, 13 year practice these things, like our, I am like, how I can love other people? How I can really listen other people? Really care for other people?” But it’s just three year practice and become like so much bigger than that, was like I did, like what is that? What is that? Like, how did he become like that? And then he would just like give it away things, like to the other people and then he just like, no, I asked like, “Why you give it away?” and then he just like, “I need to take care of this person. I need to like, this person is like going too difficult. I need to like, love, care for them.” and I just like I will physically just like color my eye like go to the other way and then I just like that was there, I like, stop and think like what is it and then I really learned from him. And then basically I learned from like I grow up in a communist country like you know, until when I was 10 years old. After 10 years at communist things is fall apart. And then I was like, searching the answer, why is different? He is so short time and I was long time because he grew up that family’s different. He grew up that family, parents, mothers and fathers really love him deeply, sincerely care for him. That is the basic foundation for him. To (one principle and practice. For me, is like growing up like, I really the communist country that’s like the family really no, for they’re, like not doesn’t carry each other like that. That’s why I like, I like practice all that, my life and then that easy to and difficult to understand that, what is love, like how I practice and then I learned from him. I think now is, I am bigger than you?

Andrew Love: 2012 yeah. Yeah. The student has become the master. Yeah, definitely. Your heart seems a lot bigger than mine these days. Well for us, like when we get into fights, I’m very legalistic and I want to win. I’m, I love debate. I love debating and I love besting people and trapping people and you know, kind of like that lawyer mindset and she doesn’t give a crap. She doesn’t, she doesn’t have any interest in winning an argument or having an argument like, “Okay.” Like, “No, no, no, I don’t think you understand,” you know? And she just doesn’t, she doesn’t have any give and take. And so even when, at my very, very worst, if I become sarcastic, and kind of judgmental, it just doesn’t penetrate her. She doesn’t, she doesn’t, it does, it doesn’t even deflect it. It’s not like it pings off of her. It just goes right through her and she, she feels nothing from it. So, I realize the, the worthlessness of getting into fights and debates. It’s useless. It’s just purely ego-driven of wanting to be right. Wanting to prove yourself, prove your point. And it has nothing to do with learning about the other person. And so it’s just like all out, out, out and it’s nothing in. So, I’ve learned that from her a lot of just, because I can see if I’m doing it and sometimes still to this day, I will keep on fighting just for the sake of fighting, even though she’s not giving me any, any, anything at all. I, and I just won’t let it go. But it’s gotten a lot better and I try to fight a lot less than just, there’s no point it’s like, watching a little kid have a temper tantrum. You just kind of let them, let them get it out. Okay, they’re gonna be done and then you guys can have lunch and I’ll be okay. And she’s just kind of just lets me work things out and then I come back and it’s because if you’re like me, I think it’d be a disaster. It’d be a really good… plates would be flying. You know, I’m very hot. I’m very calm, most of the time but if a button has been pressed, I, I go full Scorpio and I just, I just need to be right and it’s ridiculous. So, she’s helped me to, I’ve learned a lot about that, about not, not, not engaging in confrontation as much because it’s just, just diffusing an argument. It’s, it’s remarkable. It’s very Zen, like accidental Zen, you know? So I’ve I, I, I’m learning from her because she’s a terrible debater. She’s a horrible debate. And actually a good, it’s a good thing if you look online and all that stuff, the people who are good at debating, they’re not happy people. They just try to assert themselves constantly.

Uyanga Love: I would just say like, right you, right or wrong? Doesn’t matter. “Okay, you’re right. I’m just, I don’t want to, you’re right. I’m so sorry.” That’s what I say.

Andrew Love: It makes me so angry like, “No, I don’t want to be right. I want to fight.”

Sammy Uyama: Yeah. Wow, that’s totally amazing and uncomprehensible to me, because me too. I’m like, when I’m arguing ego, I can feel myself just like looking for that hit of like, I want to admit that I’m right and you were wrong like…

Andrew Love: Yeah, it’s not gratifying when she tells me I’m right, it’s not, it’s not what I want. It is the weird thing is like, I just want to fight. Yeah, so lame. Yeah, so she taught me that. It’s very disarming.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, it’s amazing, Uyanga.

Andrew Love: So we have our last question is similar. It’s ending on a positive note, but it’s, what qualities in each other so, in your spouse, do you hope that your children get? You know, that they become more like your spouse in this way? Like, what do you hope that they inherit, either biologically or just through observing your spouse like, in what way do you want, girls and boys, like what, what do you hope they’re like in terms of your spouse?

Sammy Uyama: I hope our kids get Yi Gyu’s immune system. I’ve never seen her get sick.

Yi Gyu Uyama: That’s it.

Andrew Love: Well, that’s biologically.

Sammy Uyama: Right. Well, when you said biological, it’s just like when, I thought. You can start thinking about it. I really hope that our kids can laugh as well as Yi Gyu, she laughs so well, which I am envious of a lot. And just brings that joy to people. So, like character wise that, she has that disarming way, that our children have are able to make people feel comfortable and she, Yi Gyu, people trust her like, I don’t get it. They just like meet her and she just…

Yi Gyu Uyama: You don’t get it?

Sammy Uyama: She exudes trust, a mother, which I think is really wonderful. Yeah, how about we go back and forth. I’m still thinking.

Yi Gyu Uyama: I want, Sammy has a, like everything really intentional and the consistence when he choose to do, like he made a goal, he really go for that goal. And then until, until he achieved that goal. So, I think it’s really amazing ability, quality that you have. So, I want our or the kids can have that kind of quality.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, that’d be a good combination with one thing I hope our kids get from Yi Gyu is, in our, Yi Gyu get so enthusiastic.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Ah, at first.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, yeah. It’s like, she’s so, I love, it’s so fun to see this. Once she really gets into something. She’s so enraptured by it, and it’s so met- It takes over all of her interest, and she’s so absorbed by it, which is really wonderful to see. And then it’s like a spark and then she, she then, she goes to the next thing. So, with like games you know, we do that, we play like game, we’ll start a phone game together and then she’ll be really, we’ll both be really into it and then she’ll usually lose interest before I do. Right and so I guess that’d be a good combination because for me it takes a long time to be interested in something because if I’m going to care about something then I like you know, I like, I take it all the way that’d be a good combination like be really enthusiastic and excited about something and then stick with it.

Andrew Love: Yeah, yeah, that’s cute. You guys have a both a son and a daughter so like, I guess more specifically, what do you hope your son is like, Yi Gyu in terms of becoming a man like Sammy, like this and then for Luna, Sammy if you could answer, watching Luna grow up you hope that she’s like Yi Gyu in this way. You know genders (crosstalk).

Yi Gyu Uyama: Huh? Oh, Yeah, exactly what I said that Sammy has a intentional and consistency. I think it’s what, how he keeps his integrity too, about his sexual- sexuality. Yeah. So, I hope our son can have a consistency, our son can have honesty and consistency.

Andrew Love: There’s no wrong answer Yi Gyu, it’s your answer. It’s a good answer.

Yi Gyu Uyama: Yeah. I hope he, my, our son can learn about how Sammy wants to take care of his family and keep his sexual integrity, how that’s important for his whole life and his family and who, who he can meet everyone around.

Sammy Uyama: For our daughter, little Luna. I mean, if, if someone if one of our children grew up to be exactly like Yi Gyu, I think that would do the world, a great service. This means a lot of, a lot of great things, just to use all those points I mentioned, enthusiasm. Also open, an open heartedness and you know, really open in different perspectives of things and to new experiences, willing to, to try something new and consider something in a new way, to go somewhere new, very adventurous, and take the best that every place and everyone has to offer and practice and bring it to our own life and our own family. I think it’s really, Yi Gyu is such a diverse cooking ability. She can cook foods from all parts of the world, that’s coz she meets with these other mommies and these auntie’s from different places and Chileans how to make tortillas from this sweet Mexican grandma. And all in all these like, this part of Yi Gyu that just, yeah, sees the, connects with the best in people.

Andrew Love: Very nice.

Sammy Uyama: I was I, I wanna, I was sitting here, I realized that you didn’t answer the very first question only Uyanga answered it. That we asked.

Andrew Love: What’s that?

Sammy Uyama: I don’t know if it works to go circle back, but what are you most proud of your family culture?

Andrew Love: I think that we’re all always adapting. And we’re just I don’t know, I just love our family. Like, we figure things out quickly, because we all, it’s like we’re all one unit, you know, we’re so tight. We spend so much time together, that we have our bad days, obviously, and I get cranky sometimes. But even if I have a bad day, like I’ll talk to them at the end of the day, and I’ll explain that I was cranky and why. And we can resolve it there and then and I’ll just tell them like, what I’m committed to and like because I remember hearing a lot from my parents how much they love me. But I, growing up, I felt it less and less. And I realized that you know, words, I don’t want to just say I love you all the time. I want to tell them why I love them, why God loves them and I, I want them to kind of just learn to express themselves and that we do it and that, just that openness, that culture of like, “Okay, do we all want this? Do we all want a really happy family then, then this is how we’re doing great. And this is kind of where we’re struggling and let’s figure it out.” So, it’s kind of like day to day, we’re always trying to perfect the day, you know, have a great perfect day. And then with the two older boys I’ve been you know, I tuck them in every night. And a lot of times I’ll tell them a story. And then we pray some night, some nights we don’t because I don’t want to pressure them. I don’t want them to feel forced. But last night we sat in a circle me and the two boys and we were holding hands. And then I was trying to get, you know what is the thing that they’re most thankful for and then I just was really holding them and touching them like on their head and kissing them and just letting them know how much they’re loved by me and by God, you know. And so I think that’s just the fact that we’re just trying to always adapt to where they’re at and figure out how, how do they, how can we get them to feel as loved as possible and that means challenging them too. It doesn’t mean all cuddles, it means like sometimes, “Oh you’re acting like that? Go away!” We can resolve it because I’m around, I can be hard on them because I can be around them to be soft with them. You know what I mean? With so, we’re all just very intentional and we love each other more than anybody else. You know, like we’re, we show each other that we’re a priority to each other at least for now. They’re little. I hope that they leave the nest and want to come back but a family friend of all of ours is the Portaland’s family, right? And I remember hearing from them they’re all in their 20s, the kids now there’s there were you know, there were seven of them now there’s six of them. John passed away but they all choose, they have a house when they go home, there’s like many rooms and they all choose to, the boys sleep together and the girls sleep together because they want to, because they’re sleeping in the same room and they talk up and they share with each other and I, it’s so moving to see that family because they choose each other and so I want our kids to choose each other. I don’t want to force them to do anything. I want them to choose God. I want them to choose us, but you gotta, gotta give them incentive. Choose not out of guilt or obligation but choose because why, why else would they not? You know, why? Where else are they gonna go? That they choose the memory so, we’re trying to be sensitive to their needs. But adaptability I think is our family culture is like, whatever God wants us to be, “Okay, you want us to go to Bali? Let’s go.” We had no plans. But you know, this came out of nowhere, now we’ve been here for almost three months, four months, something like that. We’re gonna be here for maybe six or seven or eight or nine months, who knows? We’re open, we’re open. And as long as we talk about it, we’ll get through anything.

Sammy Uyama: This worked out. I’m saying we, did you mentioned that these questions were completely were blindsiding each other, we prepared them and did not let the others know what these questions were. Did you say that?

Andrew Love: No, I did not. I did not. That’s a good point that, yeah, we sprung these questions on each other just to make it something that we actually have to think about on the spot. So, it’s a real answer. Not a contrived answer. But we want to thank you all for listening. This is a longer podcast, but we felt like, you know, there’s a request, we wanted to fulfill that request and if you like it, and if you want to send us questions, you know, we are happy to do these kind of podcast episodes because we want you to see how much fun it is to be open and honest and that it doesn’t need to be scary. We talked about my wife’s vagina for a little bit, you know, like that, that’s scary for some people, but it’s actually, you know, every woman has a vagina. So, why can’t we not talk about it? Right? So if you have questions for us, then we can do another podcast. Similar, but we want your feedback. Sammy, how was this for you? Was it enjoyable?

Sammy Uyama: How was it for you Yi Gyu?

Andrew Love: Yeah?

Uyanga Love: Yeah, it was fun.

Andrew Love: Fun. How about you?

Uyanga Love: Yeah, for me is it’s very nice. Be nice, like if our unification family and every specially, yeah, even older and younger, all like open talk like that. We can learn from each other a lot. Because we applying the one principle like, into the life, how it’s resolved is like that. Because without talking like that, we just talking about that one principle is like, True Father said, when you teach one principle, without no law that be like, never pupils get it. The law. That’d be like, really learning, practicing.

Andrew Love: Yeah.

Uyanga Love: Thanks. Thank you. Yeah, well, we’ll get this make possible.

Sammy Uyama: What you just said, I mean, you realize that yeah, it’s such a blessing that we’re able to have this kind of conversation.

Andrew Love: Yeah. And how many people are impacted by a lot of these things, and they don’t have a voice and they just have questions. So the whole point is, if you would like this to happen again, let us know we need feedback. And we want to thank our wives for being so brave and for being ambassadors for High Noon and we want to thank you for listening. And we hope that you enjoyed this. Please, your feedback is most important to us. Fantastic! Thank you, everybody. We’ll talk to you soon.

Sammy Uyama: Goodbye, everybody.

 

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