Developing Relationships With the Opposite Sex

The first person you meet in your life of the opposite sex is probably one of your parents. The next person may be a sibling or other relative. When do we start developing this idea that the opposite sex is an object of sexual desire?

The Family Imprint

Family relationships are the starting point of learning how to interact with others. Does dad treat mom with respect, kindness, affection, appreciation – and vice versa? Are mom and dad friends? Are they interested in and supportive of each other’s ideas and life pursuits?

Kids learn to love each other from parents. The way parents treat each other and the way they relate to their children has an imprint on our understanding of love. Children are immature so they will fight, even in the most loving family. But something deeper persists: the need for genuine connection.

The Cultural Imprint

The culture we grow up in is like water for a fish or air for a bird. It’s the normal state of being. But when the air or water is polluted there is no normal, we learn and function in a state of impurity. Everything is tainted.

Children are the ones at greatest risk for being damaged by the polluted environment they grow up in. They are little sponges absorbing everything with curiosity. So when a cartoon character comes on the screen and leads them into a world of strange new relationships, sexual relationships, their standards become compromised.

  • 70% of children age 7 to 18 have accidentally encountered online pornography*
  • 90% of children age 8 to 16 have seen online pornography (both accidental and intentional)*

At school and through media the culture incessantly continues to fascinate and corrupt the minds of the innocent. It’s impossible to be completely unaffected by culture. The media has perfected its ability to create sparks that thrill while it brainwashes the public with half-truths and lies.

The Original Imprint

Fortunately, the human heart persists in its relentless quest for a relationship because it’s our natural design. We need acceptance, affection, appreciation, camaraderie, comfort, respect, security—as well as spark and thrill—in our relationships.

Porn only focuses on the spark and thrill. It’s shallow, heartless, disrespectful, and often violent. It imitates acceptance, affection, appreciation, comfort, and security while taking us far away from the real relationships that provide these things. Porn can never completely satisfy the human heart, yet it’s addictive like a drug.

The Solution

Cleaning up pollution and restoring the environment isn’t easy. Neither is recovering the heart and mind from decades of cultural crap. But it is possible. The relentless human heart wants what is true, and good for it. We want and need the full spectrum of original love.

In this video, Ran Gavrieli expresses the heart that helped him recover from porn by seeking original relationships.



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