Ep. 45 - Podcast Thumbnail

#45 – Masturbation is Necessary | Mythbusters

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Ep. 45 - Podcast Thumbnail

In this episode, myth-busting is back as Sammy and Andrew have another fallacy to break: Masturbation as a requisite!

Sex has gone through a negative evolution – or should we say devolution – that led to its misinterpretation. Today, masturbation is viewed as a necessary part of life where one could educate themselves about their sexuality and preparation for sex.

What is the common view about masturbation? And should we be so ready to adapt to society’s perspective and acceptance of this concept?

To have a fully radiant life, look for the real stuff where you plug into the source of power, love, confidence, knowledge, and wisdom rather than to settle for any substitute. Remember: you don’t have to figure things out on your own because sexuality is not a solitary thing.

  • What masturbation look like in this era
  • Lopsided conversations about masturbation
  • Masturbation as a tool for learning about your sexuality?
  • Misinformation about masturbation from professionals: Tolerating & Demanding
  • Alone-Together concept of masturbation
  • Masturbation as a physiological response to emotional need
  • Training yourself to be a part of neediness
  • Masturbation adds many levels of complexity upon entering a relationship
  • Physical nature of the complexity: Good giver of sex by practicing masturbating

Episode Transcript:

Andrew Love: Hello, everybody. Welcome back. I’m gonna just start abruptly like that. Just a big hello everybody. And we are going to do another Mythbusters. My name is Sammy Love, and I’m with… 

Sammy Uyama: Hello, everybody. I’m Mr. Andrew Uyama.

Andrew Love: We are going to myth bust some more because we’re having, we’re having a good time. But there are also still more myths out there that we got to bust. And it’s like the ghostbusters. They’re not gonna leave a library with half the ghosts, they got to get all the ghosts. That’s what they’re getting paid for. And so, our mission here is not to bust half of the myths out there. We want to obliterate them all. And if we’re not touching on a myth that you think is prevailing and destroying culture, and you have, and you would like us to tackle it, let us know. We’re down for tackling some myths. We will bust them in the face. Sammy, usually, the classic move will bend down like he’s pretending to tie a shoe behind a myth, and then I’ll push it over. So, it falls over and we just take it out. 

Sammy Uyama: I was actually thinking I was, that we’re gonna do that move where like, I bend over, and then you run and you jump off of my back up in the air and like kick it, kick the myth in the face. 

Andrew Love: Yeah, that’s when the myth is really tall. And you know, it’s been around a while. But like most, most myths are with, you know, the 20 years old or so especially this internet age. But there are some old you know, Kinsey myths from a century ago. That, yeah, we need a ladder. But we will still get to that myth, and we will bust it. So, today’s myth is probably, you know, one that’s been around since I don’t know the Garden of Eden. Since the beginning, right? What is it, Sammy?

Sammy Uyama: Well, it’s about masturbation. And you know, the myth of masturbation, like needing to masturbate in order to learn about and to understand your sexuality. That’s, that’s, you know, a couple of decades old. That one got some age to it. You know, but an even deeper one is like, masturbation as a necessity. So that’s a huge myth as well. I don’t know, Andrew. This is not actually what we talked about originally but we could talk about that, too. It’s just like the whole concept of masturbation and it is, like I just said, a necessary part of life, which’s hundreds of years old, probably.

Andrew Love: I mean, there’s been an ebb and flow of sex. There’s a really good article in National Geographic or Time Magazine. One of those about a year or two ago, about what is a family. And it kind of went it is, it was definitely one of these, these articles that are trying to legitimize not having to worry about, you know, having a broken family. Back in one era, there is, there’s a culture where a husband and wife would cheat on each other and it’s just a part of society in this kind of thing, right? So, I think sex has gone through its own evolution, and how people have interpreted things like masturbation. I’m sure I have evolved. But in this era, when we have access to all information, and when we’re like, people are more inclined spiritually than ever. They’re not just like, like the medieval times. They were, they had no spirituality. It was like the Dark Ages. They’re, you know, bashing each other over the head. I want sex. Right? It’s, very horrific and brutal. I’m sure they, they, they were basically just animals. So, it’s a, it’s, I’m sure, what I’m just saying is masturbation, I’m sure there’s been a lot of interpretation over time, but we’re talking about here and now. We’re talking about humanity that’s so interwoven. It’s undeniable. The science is there that we share the same air. Eric from China reaches California in a matter of days, right? It’s like, we are so deeply connected. So, what does masturbation look like in this era? Because I don’t know what, how, you know, if people needed to masturbate when they were CRO magnons, right? I don’t know. I don’t know. Do I care, Sammy? Do I care about cro-magnon sex? I don’t.

Sammy Uyama: The surveys are in and no, Andrew, you do not care about that.

Andrew Love: Yeah, so I don’t know about that. All I know is that in the past, you know, hundred, a hundred and 50 years, America has had a very strained relationship with sex. Because it’s very Puritan, but also there are some other factors that had a great email thread with a news reporter about this. And there are actually other factors. But it’s just this very sorted, strained relationship between humans and sex. And so, things like masturbation were definitely taboo, and people had to figure it out on their own. But we don’t have to do that anymore. So, now we want to talk about really is sex, is masturbation a great way to educate yourself about sex? Because this is definitely a strong myth that is being blasted out into the world. Are you a yay or nay?

Sammy Uyama: I’m a nayer. That a good one to focus on. Yeah, let’s stay with that. Because that’s so, that’s pretty prevalent. Like, yeah, you need to discover your sexuality and this is the way to do it. So that very specifically we can address that. And there’s interesting that you went back to the history of sex in America because I think this kind of prevalence of glorifying masturbation is like a reaction to the store glad to towards masturbation in America to you know, from 100 years, so years ago. Because you know, that a lot of things that came out in America were things like, “Oh, if you masturbate, you’re going to go blind, or you lose your sense of taste.” And these really ridiculous notions, that people, you know, they basically had taken the fear approach to, like, you know, you shouldn’t masturbate or you’re gonna go to hell. And people kind of got smart to that. And it’s like, “Wait a minute, that’s all. That’s all bullcrap.” Right? And then, you know, whenever you’re, you expose a myth like that then it’s very upsetting, especially when it controls you for so long, right? So the opposite direction of that is like this, kind of, like a celebration of masturbation. So in that sense, it can kind of make sense. But it gets going away, it’s, it’s like, not handled productively I think. What do you think?

Andrew Love: No, it’s just, it’s actually hard to have a reasonable conversation because it’s a loaded topic. Because it usually is not the actual conversation, right? It’s like, it’s behind, theirs, behind the scenes, you’re usually religious or spiritually-minded if you believe that. There’s some sort of better alternative to masturbation, that masturbation isn’t a great idea. It’s usually because you’re in the spectrum of folks who believe in something beyond just the physical body. Whereas the common materialists, which a lot of people in the West find themselves these days, and that camp is really like, it’s no harm, no foul. It’s just my body. And it’s like, you know, I can do what I want. And there’s no clear damage. There’s no clear delineation between, say masturbation and cancer, or anything like that. So, how can it possibly be bad? And so, yeah, it’s, it’s hard to have that conversation. Just like it’s hard to have a conversation with somebody who doesn’t believe in a God or anything beyond what they can see about most topics. To be honest, right? Especially things about the heart, because some people even debate the reality of love. Some people just think that love is just the chemical reaction of the brain. And it’s really hard to talk to those kinds of people, right? So like masturbation is, it’s a topic that typically religious people don’t talk about. And the people that do talk about it, just promote it as being a great idea. So that’s the conversation, it’s like a one-day conversation.

Sammy Uyama: And so, I guess that theory of why masturbation is valuable for learning about sexuality. Just, just to get to understand where they’re coming from. Would, I imagine it’s like, you don’t want to be repressed regarding sexuality, right? And you don’t want to, uh, you have to be comfortable with your body before you can actually, you can fully be comfortable having sex. And like so, the gateway to that is to masturbate, right? And, and go through the motions of experiencing orgasm and, and then that makes you comfortable when you’re doing with another person. 

Andrew Love: Sure. 

Sammy Uyama: I guess this is where it’s coming from. So, shall we dive into this?

Andrew Love: I was reading just last week, an article in one of the psychology periodicals and it was, you know, a very ordained psychologist with a lot of letters. You know, a lot of suffixes to her name, and it was in like a major, you know, publication and it fully endorsed not only it was like, busting the myth that there’s anything wrong with masturbation and is reasserting the point that masturbation in a sense is the only way to get to know your sexual proclivities. That it’s the only way to know what you like, is by testing it out. And so, learning about your body, learning about the physiological nature of your body. And I know that that’s what you know, my Thirstine, who was on this podcast, was also when she’s doing her own research, she’s trying to figure out, you know, is masturbation good or is it bad. And she would only see the information that it was totally normal, totally healthy, and your best option, but that, that contradicted how she felt inside and what she believed. And so yeah, it’s been a very lopsided conversation. And I just want to say yeah, it’s very recent in my mind that I was reading this stuff and I was like Jesus. And not only that, but this psychologist was in charge of any of the comments below, and anybody that challenged her, she was just like, really adamant. She’s very militant about the importance of masturbation. Not only the kind of the fact that it’s okay, but that you need to. That you’re, you’re missing out. And this is very common within the Freud line of thinking and then Kinsey, and then what’s his name, Harry Hay and all these people. Is like, if any sort of repression is evil, and you must uproot it. So, if you have some sense that you shouldn’t masturbate. That’s evil because it’s probably religious. And so, therefore, it’s repressive, and you’re and you’re gonna kill yourself if you keep up this line of thought,

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, that’s great. That’s like, such a job offer. It’s like going beyond tolerating masturbation to be like, too, demanding it, basically. It’s like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I read last week or two weeks or whatever, also an article, it’s like, even making statements like, if you are not masturbating, then you are not going to be comfortable. You know, if you’re not comfortable masturbating, then you’re never going to be comfortable having sex. It seems really wild. And I, and to be able to talk about this, I think it always, it always goes back to like, what is the purpose of sex and what, what is sex meant to be, right? And a lot of this comes from the attitude that sex, it’s an individual activity that just happens to involve another person’s body. And, and it’s, and you know, you’re an individual, and you’re responsible for taking care of yourself as an individual, and they’re responsible for taking care of themselves. And if you’re able to have some mutual exchange that then yay on you, right?

Andrew Love: Yeah, I’m trying to think of a sport that’s because there’s like team sports. So that’s obviously not a team sport, because you’re not in that modality. You’re not really on the same team. It’s more like you just golfing kind of against each other, but you’re just golfing together. They do that in golf. Like, you know, you’re kind of like in the same proximity, but you’re not really on the same team. You know, it’s kind of like competition or like, it’s not really I don’t know, any other sport. That synchronized swimming. That doesn’t make sense. I don’t know. But the idea is that, yeah, you’re alone together. That’s really weird. That’s a really weird concept. “Hey, let’s hang out. And it’s like, hey, Sammy, you want to come over to my house so we can ignore each other and stare at our phones?” “Yeah. Sounds, great. I’ll be right over.” And like, “Okay.”

Sammy Uyama: Seems like hanging out is like almost. But blackjack, that’s what comes to mind when you talk about that. It’s like, okay, you know, you’re playing together with the people next to you, but you’re, you’re playing against the house. You do not like your buddy or your teammates. 

Andrew Love: So, who are the house in sex? Orgasms?

Sammy Uyama: I don’t know. What to put you up on that one. Yeah, that’ll be our next episode. Who is the house?

Andrew Love: No. Like you were just saying.

Sammy Uyama: So yeah, but we’re, where we come from with sex is that it’s, it’s a collaboration. It’s not even collaborative, it’s a partner experience. It’s like you and another person, it’s a very intimate and unique relationship. It’s not something you can just replicate or copy-paste with different people. But like, the sexual relationship you create with a specific person makes it a specific and unique, really unique experience. And, and always back to, like, you know, what is the purpose of and the idea that your sexual organ and your orgasm, it’s for their sake, even, and vice versa. And like, just having this attitude of like, really wanting to be a giver, and, you know, wanting it, wanting them to have the best experience. And when two people go all-in with that attitude, it’s great. It’s fantastic. Which I think is just like, people doubt the possibility of that, right? So they go for the scraps, which is like, okay, maybe I’ll just take care of me or take care of myself and someone else will take care of themselves. And hopefully, we can, you know, have some benefits, beneficially mutual exchange. Our mutually beneficial exchange.

Andrew Love: Yeah. I think with the surveys are in, speaking of surveys, and, and depression is the new hot trend in society, right? And so much of this anxiety and depression is caused by a lack of harmony between the mind and the body. They’re really disassociated and in a way that we haven’t, we’re functioning very unnaturally, inorganically in the society. We’re disjointed. We don’t have families really. We don’t live with our families or we don’t have communities. Most people don’t have a religious community that they’re actively a part of like really engaged in. They don’t have hobbies, for the most part, to be engaged in. They don’t have friends or like close kindred spirits that they can share their hearts with. So you have these people who are, who have all these unanswered emotional needs that then just have to deal with it on their own. And I know that masturbation is such a strong physiological response to any emotional need, but it’s, it doesn’t correlate, right? So like the need that you have isn’t fed by the activity of masturbation, but it feels like it does at the moment because you’re totally preoccupied with the activity of masturbating. But what it does, in a sense, is every time you do masturbate, you’re dissociating your heart from your mind, and you’re disassociating your body from your spirit, and you’re disassociating your, the direction of your life from your ideals. And so, everything’s kind of scattering off. And that’s why I just had this conversation with two guys last week on a call because I was really grilling them. I wanted to hear from them. Why, why is masturbating, not serving them? Like, why are they here? Why am I, why am I helping them? Why don’t you know, like, just challenging them sincerely? Because I wanted to know. Why do you think that you want to stop masturbating? Why, you know, and they said, because I feel like crap after, right? And it’s really, it’s across the board. You know, everybody feels great in the moment. And then as soon as it’s done, and they and the kind of the magic dust wears off, and they realize that they’re all alone, their loneliness is amplified, right? It’s not reduced, it’s amplified. Probably, you know, the loneliness that they were feeling before masturbating is now worse than, than before, you know what I mean? So it’s like, it’s almost like you’re chopping yourself up into a million little pieces, and you feel like you have no power, like, you have no hope. You feel less hopeful about the future and all this. And it’s all associated with this letting your body win over your hopes and your dreams and your ideals. And that’s the case, same with when you binge on ice cream, right Sammy? I don’t know, I know, Sammy is a health nut, and all he eats is chili every day, but I’m sure you’ve experienced a binge. I had a friend who was like an overeater, he actually killed himself from eating too much. And he told me like when he was really, really out of control, he went to like McDonald’s and ordered two full meals and then in his car, ate them all in his car. Then go to Pizza Hut and get a full pizza. And then go to another place, get another fat and then go get like a tub of ice cream and eat the whole thing. And then he’d sit in his car and cry for hours. You know what I mean? And this is, it’s a similar thing. It’s like when your body is completely out of control. It’s at the cost of your mind and your heart, your spirit, your hopes, and your dreams, right? And I see that, that it’s like in much smaller way masturbation, but it’s like, you’ve lost control of the ship. Your body just took over, right? And then, and the other parts of you’re paying a price for that.

Sammy Uyama: Right and, and tying this back to why, so what makes masturbation bad preparation for sex? Not only is it, but it’s also not helpful. It’s not. It’s not helpful for helping you understand your sexuality. Preparing you for sex. It’s counterproductive and it’s actually negative. One of the reasons this whole thing that when we talk about Andrew is that like we, everything is a conditioning, right? And then, what we repeatedly do and experience that we have through that, that we train that. So, if you masturbate, you go through the cycle of masturbation, like an ejaculation, climb orgasm, and then emptiness, then this is like what you’re training to associate with orgasm. And so when you’re in a relationship, how easy do you think that’ll just, that’ll go away? That like when you physically orgasm that you just are suddenly feeling fulfilled now and that’s what’s stopping you from just having those same physical emotions come up again.

Andrew Love: Yeah. And also as the kind of precursor to sex, right? So imagine what, what is leading you up to being in a position to masturbate? Typically, it’s feeling isolated, defeated. You feel small, you feel alone, right? You feel a little, like a little person, and you want to feel bigger than that. And so masturbation helps you to feel endlessly big because your, your fantasies can be as big as they want, right? And then, you bring that into marriage, and then you start to associate the reason why you’re having sex is to feel bigger or to feel better about yourself. And it’s real neediness. Do you know what I mean? Like, it’s not just like the emotions during it’s like, the reason for you having sex then becomes entangled with a bunch of weird needinesses that is unresolved because of the fact that you train your sex to be a part of neediness. And your training, you know, you’re training yourself to get fulfillment momentarily from this one source, right? 

Sammy Uyama: Wow. Yeah. All of that. I mean, then even there’s just like, practically the process you use to, to build yourself up to masturbate. Like, yeah, whether it’s like, you know, looking at porn and things like that. They usually go hand in hand, and, and if you’re conditioning yourself in that way, as well as like these are the steps needed in order to get there, or to get excited, to get aroused, to want to ejaculate, to want to orgasm. It’s like, how do you replace you know, then are you gonna be able to suddenly just replace that with another person? And then, and then, you know, are you gonna, is that the best-case scenario that all you’re doing is replacing the porn and your hands with another human? It’s like, that doesn’t do anything to serve actually connecting with them and building a relationship with them. That’s like, based on your, based on your sexuality, sexuality.

Andrew Love: Yeah. A true artist goes through this journey of being a newbie, to being intermediate, to being an expert. And usually, the mark of an expert is somebody who is able to do very complicated complex things, right? And that usually is the height of somebody who’s like a young prodigy that they can do really complicated things. But the height of a master is that they can do simple things perfectly, beautifully. You know, what I mean? And that’s, I can see the correlation there with sexuality too, is that we’re, we make sex very complicated, or far too complicated than what it could be. And the more that I’m learning about myself and about my wife, the less we need anything at all other than just the other person. No thoughts. No, no, not just, I just want you. You know, what I mean? In the, in the, in the most organic, natural sense, just you. No frills. No, nothing, right? Like no scenario. I don’t, we don’t need to go on a romantic getaway, just like, right here. You, you know what I mean. And I think that’s really something that should be considered as well is that masturbation actually adds many levels of complexity when you enter a relationship because now you have all these embedded scenarios in your brain that cause a certain reaction. But anything real could get in the way of those scenarios because you want this perfect scene, right? When somebody masturbates they’re not envisioning awkwardness, farts, or like, you know, like, you know, just like, awkward things that can happen. They’re envisioning this perfect scenario. Whatever they view perfection to be. And if something really gets in the way of their perfected vision, it can often be a huge turnoff. And that then causes you to judge the moment that you’re in and also judge the person that’s in that moment with you. Does that make sense? So then all of a sudden, something that’s totally normal and natural, is, you judge it. And now you’re in your head and you’re judging them and your heart is closed, and then the experience becomes negative because they didn’t fit perfectly into the fantasy that you’ve had it time and time and time again, which is not based on reality.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, to rip out, riff off of that. Even there’s like the mental fantasy aspect but even just like the physical nature of like the complex, complexity that goes into masturbating. Where you, you perfect the right, the right strokes and the right, likes speed and friction. And that, you know, you have an immediate feedback loop that always feels really good when you’re masturbating. And then, you’re just like, totally focused on pleasuring yourself perfectly where you’re another person can imitate that as well or you can communicate with them, but you know, it’s always gonna be lagging behind. And, and it just goes against the nature of like sex is as a giving experience where like, you’re just. I, I can’t imagine a good argument for getting good at being a giver in sex, you practice that by masturbating, right? 

Andrew Love: I would, I mean, somebody could argue that a good chef is really fat, right? Because they were sampling their own stuff, right? And that could be an analogy that somebody could use, right? Is that how are you supposed to know how to guide somebody if you don’t know what you like, right? I’m just being the devil’s advocate here.

Sammy Uyama: Sure. Like, I don’t, I,  this is, this is, this ties into like the performance nature of sex. It’s like, it’s imbued with this idea that you know, every, like, I guess you have to do well, the first time, right? It, anyway, I know, whatever the context is, but like, when I think about, you know, you’re in, you’re committing to a sexual relationship with someone, you’re going to be in it for the long haul, decades-long. You’ve got plenty of time to figure that stuff out together. That’s a lot funnier. That’s a lot, you know, it ties, it builds into the intimacy of the relationship, right? We’re discovering these things together. I don’t see why you need to know those things prior to going, to be going into a relationship without unless it’s like that, because you need to perform or something, or something. Or like you’re expected because you’re going to be, yeah, I don’t know. It’s like, what’s wrong with being unaware, in the beginning, stages of a sexual relationship? Or, and I think that you need to be educated, and you need to understand, like, there’s a lot of things to know, to be able to have safe, you know, healthy, good sex. But like, I don’t know why you need to know those prior, right? It’s like if your sexual sex is an extension of a relationship with someone, why don’t you discover those things together?

Andrew Love: Yeah, it’s just a cultural thing. It’s just the culture. Like, that’s what’s expected, right? There are very few people who abstain from sex before marriage, and there are even fewer people, who talk about this in public that refrain from any type of sexuality, including masturbation. Like these people will be ostracized from our modern world as being sheltered crazy, the religious, you know, like, overprotective, crazy. You know, that, that, that comes up a lot is like, “Oh, you’re insane.” That’s really unhealthy, right? But I do agree that as the analogy, I always use, you don’t need to crash into a bunch of cars to learn how to drive. You don’t need to make a lot of mistakes. Mistakes won’t necessarily ruin your life, but they definitely add complexity. They definitely add, you know, a bit of extra suffering in the long run, when you make mistakes. There’s a way to avoid it and that’s by gleaning wisdom from those who came before you. But wisdom isn’t in vogue these days. Opinions are, and emotions are but wisdom is not so fashionable these days. I gotta say.

Sammy Uyama: Yeah, just to go off like you’re not excluded from any of you know, it’s like, yeah, there are consequences to our actions, right? But like, if you make, if you do certain things like you have, you’ve had lots of sex, lots of people. And you know, it’s kind of like your history. You’re not excluded from having, like this kind of intimacy or this kind of closest with someone, right? What, what’s important is how are you going to conduct yourself now and how are you going to treat your sexuality now, right? And treating sex as something that is a part of your experience with another person. You know, it’s not just an individual thing which, which is what masturbation is. It’s like, whatever you do with sex? Sure, fine. But like it should be as an experience with someone else, right? That’s just like, I think our take on sex, right? Masturbate each other. Sure. Go for it. Have fun but it’s like, but it’s like that, it’s what you do together.

Andrew Love: Yeah. I, it’s, I mean, you and I definitely the more that we talk about this, the more I feel like we’re old men, trying to convince young people of something. But to be honest, as pure and well-intentioned that you can be without any concept, without any expectations, just with a pure, open heart. That’s the first time that you know anything about sex is after you’ve already committed to this person and say, I don’t know what we’re doing but we have a lifetime to figure this out. That’s like, that puts you at this major advantage. And it’s an advantage that so few people ever get to know because they get caught in this web of misinformation and selfishness that is prevailing. That’s the prevailing wisdom, which is insanity. Like, it’s proven itself to be ineffective in terms of creating more loving, functional humans who create functional marriages that create functional families. That’s what our hyper-sexualized culture is produced as is this function, divorce all sorts of problems. And so, it’s the best way to show up prepared for the bedroom after you get married is just to have a big open heart and to have somebody else that you’ve done the research and you guys work together to, to make sure that they have a big open heart. And from there, you will make something very beautiful happened. And you don’t have to figure things out on your own because sexuality is not a solitary thing. It’s, it’s, we are all connected. And solo sex leads to isolation. I mean, just look at the world and say, the more sexed we are, are we more content, or are we more isolated? And there’s absolute, like, the correlation between the fact that we’re so isolated, and we’re so oversexed and yet we’re so lonely, deeply lonely. And so, masturbation takes you further away from yourself. I can say that with, with pretty strong, I don’t want to say authority, I have great confidence in that statement based on personal experience and also based off of all the people that we worked with, and also based on looking at the world today. What are the factors that it’s not just masturbation, but it’s like, it’s definitely a factor that is often overlooked because nobody even questions it? Just like they, it’s just an assumption. “Oh yeah. This is what everybody does.” But we’re not, we’re not coming from a very sincere, earnest place when it comes to relationships. And so, the couples who come into the marriage with, with just pure hearts are the happiest. And they don’t need to watch porn to know what sex is. Somehow, their bodies already know and they don’t get it right the first time but they certainly have a lot less baggage, and a lot fewer expectations, and a lot less unnatural pressure to perform or to force the other person to be something that they’re not. And I can’t, I can’t recommend abstaining from that enough. From porn, from masturbation and to reallocate that. Sammy and I were talking right before this, I’m gonna, I’m just gonna shut up right after this. But like, seeing old footage, if you, if you look up videos from American physical education class, High School, the 1940s, or 50s. I don’t know what the women were doing. It was definitely a different society in terms of like, you know, gender roles. But the men were ripped, they’re all shredded and they were all like, just really in control of their bodies. And because they were given more responsibility younger, they took better care of themselves, they ate better food. And they also were able to get a lot of that energy out of them better. And so, there’s a lot less hooking up culture. That didn’t mean that everybody was but when they did a survey back then, masturbation was viewed as, as weird things. Like, I don’t know. No, I don’t do it. I don’t think it’s kind of okay. And, and that’s definitely changed. That was on like university campuses, they did a study. There’s somebody that was trying to prove that people are perverts. And then they found the opposite is true that people were a lot more, I guess, prudish than they thought. And that was you know, less, less than a century ago. People really viewed masturbation in a totally different way.

Sammy Uyama: I think it’s a beautiful way to wrap up this sentiment that what we’re proposing for all of you. Ladies and gentlemen are that contrary to popular belief, the best way to prepare for marriage, the best way to prepare for incredible sex life is not to come into a relationship with a well-developed palette, and you know, your refined tastes for what you will like, what you don’t like, what you want regarding sex. But to come in with as a blank canvas and with an open heart, as Andrew puts it. And when two people come in that’s with that heart just, just committed to one another and want to have that as another, like, really fulfilling part of their relationship, then magical things can happen. And yeah, they need guidance. Yeah, they’ll, they’ll need to learn things. But that’s part of the beauty of it is that they do that together. And whatever that they experience regarding sex, it’s part of their unique relationship with one another.

Andrew Love: So I mean, I hope we’ve convinced everybody to never masturbate again. Yeah, this is a topic that definitely deserves a lot of consideration. And we love to hear feedback. And we’re never here to say what’s right or wrong because that doesn’t yield any good thoughts or feelings that are just like black or white. We’re talking about having a fully radiant life. It’s best to plug into the source of power, of love, of confidence, of knowledge, of wisdom, and all this stuff, rather than settle for any substitute. And masturbation is definitely a substitute for intimacy because you’re only intimate with your hands. And that’s not.

Sammy Uyama: I don’t know, I don’t know, Andrew. There’s some pretty sophisticated machinery. In the works being developed these days.

Andrew Love: Well, even then, you’re outsourcing. You can’t even use your own hands. You’re not even with yourself. So yeah, if you really want true fulfillment, that means letting go and it means connecting to God, to yourself, and to the people around you. And when we create the habit of going elsewhere for our needs, will only find further confusion and isolation and anxiety and all these things that are so rampant in our modern world. And there’s a reason for it. People don’t know where to go. They don’t know where the source of their love comes from. So they settle for these cheap alternatives that never give them what they’re looking for. So yeah, that’s we’re just advocating for wholeness, for truth, for the real stuff. Look for the real stuff, and look in your life. Were you settling for fake stuff? And what would be a real alternative to that fake stuff? To us, masturbation is extremely fake. It’s got nothing to do with intimacy or love or anything that we actually crave. And we’re just letting our bodies take over our minds in our hearts and our spirits. So, if you have any questions, we’re always here.

Sammy Uyama: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, that’s all we have for you this week. Thank you for tuning in to us. I got it this time. We, next time, you can tune in again and we’ll see again.

Andrew Love: Adios. 

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#1 – Masturbation

Join Andrew Love and Sammy Uyama as they discuss the “touchy” topic of masturbation from varying perspectives.They discuss influences, triggers and motivations behind the act as well as alternative ways of thinking as a means to focus one’s energy and attention on living better lives without it.

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