Contributed by Andrew Love
Welcome back to our blog!
Each week we are working to both introduce you to new ideas and revisit old ideas so that we can explore them in more depth.
This week is all about the latter. The reason is that we want to discuss a thoroughly misunderstood concept—that of Intimacy. When High Noon talks about sex and intimacy with audiences large and small, we often receive a lot of confusion around what is the actual difference between both SEX and INTIMACY. I mean, they are basically the same thing, right?
Can you have sex without intimacy?
Can you have intimacy without sex?
Yes and a big YES!
This misunderstanding is actually a fundamental part of the problem surrounding the isolation society is presently experiencing at this point in history. Somehow, humanity has managed to remove intimacy from sexuality and has in many cases created a society devoid of true intimacy. But before I delve too deep into how this is all playing out in real time, I’d like to define intimacy for a second.
Here’s why intimacy is a BIG DEAL—it is the root of Cheon Il Guk.
For anyone unfamiliar with what Cheon Il Guk is, it’s essentially the starting point of peace on earth. It’s the idea that peace won’t become cataclysmic event from above, but a transformation of humanity from within. It’s the notion that humans are meant to connect and when we are operating synergistically we are primed for greatness, and anything short of that leaves opportunity for strive and pain.
So yeah, intimacy is a BIG DEAL (sorry for capitalizing, I can’t help myself).
Another way of defining or directly translating the meaning of Cheon Il Guk is “When 2 become 1”. And to High Noon, that is also the exact definition of intimacy.
Let’s break this all down really quickly.
By our definition or intimacy, a person can even have intimacy themselves. Is that a new concept for you? Of course, I’m not talking about sexually, because self-sex is the exact opposite of intimacy, but that’s for another post.
Think about this: When your mind and body become one, you feel connected with yourself.
Have you ever had a breakthrough by challenging yourself that just causes you to feel so amazing??? Like running a marathon, or doing great on a test, or having any other sort of personal transformation that helps you to discover more deeply what you are capable of and how much you are able to embody God’s power. If you’ve ever taken the time and spent the energy to pass through some personal limitations, then you have felt closer to the YOU that is inspiring and all of a sudden you feel more comfortable just being yourself. It’s amazing.
Yet at the same time, it’ll never be enough to have intimacy with yourself. It’s a very necessary starting point because it’s very difficult to connect with others in any meaningful way if you’ve never first done that with yourself. In the end, though, humans are wired for connection. We need people in our lives to experience intimacy with. And this can happen at all levels. It can be with your siblings, your parents, your teachers, and mentors, and just about anyone else you allow yourself to know.
Intimacy with others is when two hearts become close to one another. It’s when you let someone into your little world and they respond by inviting you into theirs.
That’s why High Noon promotes the regular practice of Honesty and Accountability. When you are honest with people you feel you can trust, you are sharing with them your true self. It’s very scary to tell people what you really think about and do when nobody else is watching. It’s easy to feel that they will judge you and shame you for not being ‘perfect’ in the way you naively believe they perceive you to be.
Having accountability is one step above honesty because it requires a person to not only reveal who they really are, but also what they really aspire to be. Telling someone about what you want out of life is scary because it is admitting that you want to grow, and with that comes a sense of responsibility. If you ask someone for accountability, you are essentially asking them to remind you of the person you know you are capable of becoming with effort.
And that is scary! If you are responsible for the results in your life, then you have nobody else to blame when things don’t turn out the way you want. That is a major unconscious roadblock for many people. They don’t let people into their lives due to the shame of their past mistakes and the fear of being responsible for how their lives turn out.
This is the stage where we meet many people of all ages here at High Noon. There are people in their 60’s who have so much shame about what they do behind closed doors that they feel they can’t share with their spouses. We have people in their 20’s who are leading a double life because they don’t want their friends and family to ever know who they really are.
These people are suffering. So many people live in a state of suffering and all they need to do is become intimate with someone. They need to do the extremely confronting work for revealing their heart of hearts to another person in order to feel the liberation of feeling loved and accepted by them.
In many religions, there is a practice of connecting to God directly and avoiding human interaction, after all, in many cases human involvement only confuses matters with human problems.
Here is a truly profound idea:
In order for humans to see peace in this world, we need to find peace within our hearts. And in order for us to find peace in our hearts, we need to share our hearts with people in this world. See how that works? You can’t find lasting peace within by yourself. A Yogi might find peace on an island by meditating for 20 years straight. He might even be so enlightened that he can levitate!!! But give him a wife and 4 kids, and see what happens! The purpose of life isn’t to isolate ourselves, that’s avoidance. Nothing is resolved from that place.
Peace—LASTING PEACE—is only attainable when we liberate ourselves from the shackles of our past and stay accountable to be amazing children of God that we are meant to be. Both of those caveats are only possible by being intimate with another human being.
It’s that important! Or should I say—IT’S THAT IMPORTANT!
So please, prioritize honesty. Prioritize intimacy. Prioritize Accountability.
You will be liberated and you will be helping humanity reach it’s potential when you do so!
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