Healing Your Own Heart
Even though your partner’s porn issues have nothing to do with you, you may have discovered that it triggers certain insecurities or old wounds. This is your area of healing that only you can take responsibility for.
Even if your partner didn’t have a porn issue, insecurity and old wounds would show up in your relationships throughout your life. In one sense, you’ve been given an opportunity to face what ails you and find healing.
Nobody’s Perfect in this World
Now don’t feel bad, because almost everyone walks around with some degree of old baggage. Very few (if any) people grew up in a perfect family and felt totally supported by their peers in school. When you were growing up you had a beautiful but immature heart, a heart that wasn’t prepared to handle everyone else’s problems. But that’s what you got, a world full of problems.
In some sense, when you agree to marry someone, you’re agreeing to share each other’s baggage and work through it together. You aren’t each other’s healers or fixers, but you’re more like comrades in the fight to restore real love.
Better Sooner than Later
Patterns just get stronger over time and create a lifestyle. You don’t want to grow old with your issues, do you? They don’t get better by themselves. People go through life creating patterns in the way they relate and interact with each other. Do you want to face your wounds and heal, or do you want to create patterns of avoidance until those old issues make you really sick?
As you go through the topics below, try to be as honest as possible about what you brought with you into this relationship. Regardless of your age or situation, healing your own heart is always possible.