Week 5 – Rituals
The thing you do before the thing you do. It’s important to understand that porn is the result, not the cause. Today we’ll look at rituals, what they are and how they lead to pornography.
We do many things before we actually act out (watch porn, masturbate). It’s really important to understand that porn is the result, not the cause. So, how do we find ourselves in the situations we do? Let’s find out.
A Real Life Example
We’ll call this person Frank, instead of using his real name. Frank had a habit of watching porn every Friday night. He hated this habit, because it was a horrible way to start his weekend. He didn’t want to do it, but every single week he did.
Frank thought he was out of control. He thought he couldn’t stop himself. So I worked with him to find out what was really going on. As it turned out, Frank had a bunch of rituals that lead him to act out which he was able to discover the more he observed his habits.
Stress and Justification
First off, he realized that this was a result of STRESS. Friday was the end of his school week. He was in engineering school and it was really difficult.
Secondly, he found that when he would get home on Friday, his habit was thinking “I’m justified in zoning out because I worked so hard all week”.
The Friday Ritual
- So he would go to Manga.
- It would start off with regular Manga and then he would check out more risque content
- After feeling a little aroused by cartoons, he would go to YouTube and check out tantalizing videos.
- Once he had seen enough of that, he would start justifying his need to watch something more hardcore and he would inevitably watch porn.
So, what started out as needing a release from stress, ended up being his gateway to acting out in a way he didn’t want to.
How Frank dealt with his rituals:
He was able to overcome this habit, but only by fixing his Friday night rituals.
- He stopped watching Manga
- Cut out YouTube
- Found other ways to find relief on Friday nights
It took months, but he was able to do it. So remember, watching porn and masturbating is the result, your rituals are the cause.
What are some of your rituals? They could look something like this:
- Bringing your phone to bed with you at night
- Looking at attractive people on Facebook/ Instagram
- Flirting with people or looking for attention
Remember, these are all potential triggers.
Think about your rituals.