Understanding Bad Habits and Sex Addiction
Regardless of whether it’s a bad habit or an addiction, it can feel as though it’s impossible to change. Even knowing it’s bad, unhealthy, and causing pain for loved ones, it’s hard to stop without intervention.
Think of how much people struggle to overcome a smoking or drinking habit, or to change dietary habits. Even when we know what’s good for us it’s not easy to give up something we’ve become dependent on.
Needs and Patterns
There are underlying needs and patterns in a person’s life that have to be understood before they can change a habit or addiction. When porn has disrupted normal development from early childhood on, it can be a real struggle to “reprogram” the brain. In the next topics we’ll briefly outline some of these issues.
While your partner is making effort to deal with these issues, you can help them by creating a safe and accepting environment at home. Easier said than done, I know, and we’ll get into this topic a little more later. For now, let’s just consider how to reduce temptation and create an environment of honesty.
Rebuilding Trust Through Honest Reporting
High Noon recommends porn recovery that includes an accountability partner. For your spouse, it may be easier to report their struggles and temptations to someone other than you in the beginning of their recovery process. Watch Ryan & Laura’s story in the video below to see how accountability helped them.
Using accountability software like Covenant Eyes requires having an accountability partner who can receive the reports and discuss them with the participant. Some people have difficulty asking someone to be their accountability partner. It can be a trusted friend, pastor or elder; preferably someone who’s not judgmental and has experience overcoming something.
In the High Noon Ascend program, we provide an accountability partner for 90-days, but this doesn’t utilize accountability software. It’s a relationship of self-reporting daily progress by text or email. Ascend’s 90-day accountability service is meant to be training for real life accountability and transparency. It’s a way for the Ascend participant to learn how to open up to someone about their struggles and receive supportive help and feedback.
If you’re also interested in Covenant Eyes software, please visit their website. The software can be used on any device for the whole family, even without an accountability partner. It includes parental controls and a safe internet browser. Learn more at: CovenantEyes.com
Click on the first topic in the list below.