Testimonies like this one from Steve Pierce inspire us to keep working. Thank you for sharing, Steve!
“It’s for the sake of other people that I feel compelled to write something about an important and life-changing path I’ve been on for some time now; it could even be for another me somewhere. First, this will start bluntly. After a lifetime of living with a certain contradiction that knew no limits, it is nothing less than amazing to have found a doorway out, kind of like Alice in Wonderland. But it didn’t start bluntly. As for so many people on the planet, indoctrination into any unprincipled internal attitudes or unprincipled external behaviors begins innocuously, in other words, innocent and non-toxic. But with time grows with certainty into something no longer innocent and profoundly toxic. And, it doesn’t end promptly. How could it, after enough seeds having been sown?
The contradiction I address is none other than sexual dis-integrity, a plague of every generation since Adam and Eve. Everyone talks and acts as if time-honored marriage including all the accouterments like children is the one norm and destination. But a thousand daydreams say otherwise. A thousand turned heads say otherwise. A thousand increasingly heightened deviations say otherwise. A thousand is actually not even an exaggeration, unfortunately. One day has too many minutes, one week too many hours. Furthermore, this plague knows no demographic boundaries: it is not a sickness of the rich, of the faithful, of victims of tragedy, or of artistic celebrity. Considering the vastness of this challenge we are facing, an in-depth and well-paced approach to its resolution is an absolute necessity. It cannot be wished away, and I will declare that the requisite faith must be tied to integral relationships (spelled foundation of substance). “Connection” is the no-longer-secret password for recovery.
My own course? So far, characterized by five milestones:
- Taking an online recovery class by myself, no live interaction yet, ignited by its brilliant science coupled with core staff sincerity and passion, and got the first taste of hope
- Very gutsy joining a live call, at first 1 on 1, growing into 6, now steady for 2 years
- Subscribing to an internet watchdog mechanism, decisively putting more teeth into my recovery
- Taking ownership of the larger picture by aligning and offering myself for the cause
- Becoming a facilitator and making a personal investment in others
Based on these milestones, I can finally see two areas of growth that are new and fairly certainly could not have otherwise occurred. One is a particular public role which is anathematic to a contradictory state of being, and another is sustained investment in others’ well-being.
To be poetic about results, slowly but surely breaking free of inner chains, ending endless cycles of self-derailment, and easing the vice grip of hiding.
Or, positively expressed, the result is empowering God more, and giving God more voice to speak with.
Is it truly a winnable battle? After all, it’s been going on forever. To answer such a question, we need to realize that when one person breaks through, others can follow. But only if the one who broke through reaches back. So, yes, it is winnable.
Yes, it takes time, it is a gradual process, it takes too long, there are setbacks, there are false starts, but should those realities cause anyone to disavow the path? Did those same qualities: taking so much time and enduring setbacks cause God to disavow the path of restoration?
The bottom line: many of us felt God’s love in a new and powerful way—and could make real changes—so now want to give love in new and hopefully powerful ways.
The best part: the bond with my spouse always was and always will be the goal, and she is my #1 ally, for whom the most tears of gratitude flow.”