Si estás teniendo rupturas en tu sexualidad integral, entonces te queremos aplaudir. Un quiebre es cuando algo no va, como te gustaría que fuese. Lo que esto indica es que tienes un compromiso hacia algo. El hecho de que tengas un compromiso hacia el vivir una vida de integridad sexual, es inspirador.
La mayor parte del mundo ve el porno como algo normal, o al menos algo que tiene que ser tolerado; y la masturbación ha sido ampliamente aceptada como algo tanto normal, como sano. No hay muchas personas dispuestas a resistirse y comprometerse a vivir una vida libre de porno y masturbación; a comprometerse en honrar a su cónyuge como el dueño de su órgano sexual.
La mayor parte del mundo no puede ni atreverse a imaginar que estas cosas sean posibles.
No importa cuán triste o abatido te pongas, recuerda que estás en el camino. La mayoría de las personas ni siquiera saben que el camino está ahí. Para nuestros ojos, eres un superhéroe.
Estás jugando el juego de la integridad sexual.
Una manera de pensar sobre la integridad es la de honrar tu palabra. En la vida, no siempre va a ser posible mantener tu palabra, pero siempre puedes honrarla. Al honrar tu palabra, restauras tu integridad.
Usa esta estructura de aquí en adelante cuando reportes sobre recaídas a tu Compañero de Responsabilidad y tu grupo.
Cómo Restaurar Tu Integridad
Usa esta estructura de aquí en adelante cuando reportes sobre recaídas a tu Compañero de Responsabilidad y tu grupo.
Tuviste un desliz. Hazte cargo de ello. Lo que las personas tienden a hacer es justificar lo que pasó. Se abren con toda una historia acerca de cómo una situación molesta pasó en el trabajo y estaban lidiando con mucho estrés y simplemente no pudieron evitarlo. Tratando de hacer que las personas simpaticen con ellos.
No necesitas esa Mie***. A tu equipo de apoyo ya le importas. No necesitan la historia, y tampoco tú. Mantente apegado a lo que pasó.
“El miércoles tuve dos recaídas. En la mañana estaba navegando en Instagram y me permití ver imágenes de pantalones de yoga, que me llevó a mirar porno y masturbarme. Me sentí terrible y usé el porno de nuevo en la tarde para hacerme sentir mejor.”
Con el porno online, es fácil cerrar todas las ventanas, limpiar tu historial y tratar de pretender que nada pasó. Y con la masturbación, es incluso más fácil pretender que nada pasó porque no necesitas un aparato que participe; solo te necesitas a ti mismo. Nos entumecemos a nosotros mismos, al impacto que tiene en nosotros mismos, por no honrar nuestra palabra. Hazte presente al impacto que tu acción tiene en tí mismo y en otros.
No tiene que ser algo que desvastador; es lo que sea que puedas reconocer en el momento.
“El impacto de mi accionar el miércoles es que miré porno cuando se suponía que iba a estudiar, entonces me atrasé en mis tareas. Eso me hizo sentir terrible todo el día, así que terminé sin hacer nada productivo. Y después le contesté bruscamente a mí hermano menor innecesariamente y le hice sentir mal.”
¿Cuál es un nuevo compromiso que podes hacer para honrar tu palabra de aquí en adelante? ¿Cuál nueva estructura podes poner en práctica, para que haga de soporte a tu promesa?
Esta es una manera poderosa de examinar tu escudo de integridad sexual y ver dónde están las grietas. ¿Qué cosa nueva puedes poner en práctica?, ¿de qué cosa te puedes deshacer?
“Mi nueva promesa es no usar más Instagram en mi celular. Voy a borrar la aplicación y usarla en mi computadora si realmente quiero usarla”
Esa es una poderosa manera de abordar las recaídas. Te lleva hacia adelante en vez de revolcarte en culpa, por haberlo estropeado. Practica esto con tu grupo, y manténganse entre ustedes usando este formato de reporte sobre las recaídas (en oposición a dejarse llevar al modo de cuenta cuentos)
Puntos a tener en cuenta
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Richard & Mari Curry have been Blessed in married since December 2005 and have four children. They love working together as a team and are passionate about caring for others, especially in the realm of marriage development. After Mari received her Masters of Divinity from Cheongshim Theological Seminary, she and Richard served as co-pastors in Florida. Since then, they moved to New Jersey and over the years have happily served in a variety of ministry roles from music to education. All the while, working together to serve the Blessed Marriage Project and now High Noon Couples. They were a part of the founding team in 2013 and have been a part of it ever since. They currently serve as the directors of Highnoon Couples. They love the Energize! Retreats because they help realize True Parent’s desire for healthy couples and reminds us of Heavenly Parent’s love and hope for us all!
Contact Mari at: mari@highnoon.org |
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Crescentia & Leighton DeGoede have been Blessed in married since October 2010, and have three children. Crescentia is currently serving as the District Pastor of district 3 and local pastor of the Clifton Family Church. Previously Crescentia was the Director of the National Blessing and Family Ministry of FFWPU for six years. Both Leighton and Crescentia currently serve as Matching Supporters. Prioritizing their marriage, while juggling children, work, and community service has been an exciting challenge. But they continue to find that the more they invest in their marriage, the more they have to give in all areas of their lives. They love giving other couples the opportunity to infuse their marriages with love deposits through marriage enrichment programs. |
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Christoph & Lena Yasutake have been Blessed in marriage since April 2002 and have three teenagers. They are both equally passionate about marriage education and helping blessed couples create happy and healthy families. The Energize! Retreats are one of their favorite ways to share this passion. They served in the Young Couples ministry for six years and are frequent guest speakers at Blessing Workshops. |
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Kate Pugnoli has served as the Community Liaison and is also responsible for generating our monthly newsletter. A former journalist, she has a Masters of Religious Education from the Unification Theological Seminary where she took focused her studies on counseling courses. She has also had experience facilitating small groups. The mother of two sons, now Blessed in marriage, she lives in Tucson, AZ with her husband Simon Herbert. She is committed to working with the Blessed Marriage Project in hopes that marriage enrichment will be available to communities across the country and particularly to bring the Energize! Couples Retreat to as many couples as possible. |
The Blessed Marriage Project (BMP) is an independently funded, grassroots initiative by Blessed couples for Blessed couples. Its programs welcome Blessed couples and married Blessed family members of every age and at every stage of marriage, and from every part of our Unificationist families community.
The mission of BMP is:
The initiative was conceived by two families in 2013, and formally launched the following year, with the donor couple generously giving $100,000 to cover annual expenses. Now their contribution has been over $200,000 annually, to include the related PureMind.Online initiative. (Read more history.)
The BMP is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt non-profit organization (meet the Board of Directors). The programming is led by professional Unificationist marriage educators.
In 2015, the Project began experimenting with new retreat formats, and expanding its menu of educational resources, most notably, PureMind.Online, to help combat the threat that pornography represents to Blessed couples.
Currently, the primary offering of the BMP is its Energize! Couples Retreats, which are designed for Blessed spouses to experience God’s love through a refreshing opportunity to learn useful information and tools, bond and enjoy each other as spouses, and to connect with other Blessed couples. To anchor the benefits in couples’ lives, the Retreat launches an opportunity for a local Small Group experience, and ongoing educational and supportive events and resources.
The purpose of the BMP also includes training young Unificationists to learn to carry out such programming in the future. In addition, the Project provides for training volunteers to facilitate Small Groups and Seminars among past participants and other married couples in their local church communities. The team is looking for other young people with a passion to support couples to join our staff, as well as older members to partners with us and contribute their skills.
The Project is offering Energize! Couples Retreats in 2017 depending upon what hosting communities contribute in terms of funding and local staff, and how their open dates coincide with the availability of BMP staff. We encourage interested communities and potential donors to contact our staff.
Please contact Mitsue Wolfenberger at mwolfenberger@gmail.com.
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